End the Homework Struggle

I don't know about you, but we have a tendency to struggle with homework in our home. Honestly, I kind of feel like a bad mom sometimes because it's not like I have 2 or 3 more kids to supervise during those after school hours. I only have Kaley. And we still have difficulties.

Kaley has ADHD. She is medicated. That's a struggle in and of itself which you can read about HERE. But due to her ADHD, homework is such a hassle most days.

I know, I know, there isn't hardly a child alive who loves doing their homework. But, at 7 years old, most of them are willing to sit down and just get it over with. Mine? Not so much. By the time we get home at 3:30, she's done for the day. Her medicine is wearing off, her attention span is practically zero and the ability to focus flew out the window about an hour ago. That's just the way it is.

So how do we make it through? How is it she still has A's in all but one class (forgive the child for her B in math- she's just not very good at it...)? Because over the past two and a half years that she has had homework I've found some things that really work with her ADHD. And I've decided that I won't be selfish with them anymore and I will share them all with you because I know ADHD is something many children struggle with.

1. Do NOT let yourself become frustrated.

This is one that I have had a difficult time with, to be honest. It has taken me a very long time to learn that my frustration has an adverse affect on Kaley's productivity level. When I become frustrated, she knows it and she pays more attention to that than she does to what she is supposed to be doing. Many of us parents think that raising our voices, expressing our irritation is letting our children know what they should be doing. It's not. It's just taking what little focus they have even further away from their homework. Not conducive to completing the assignments.

 

2. Do NOT let your child become frustrated.

If they've been sitting at the table, staring at "3+7=" for 20 minutes and can't seem to figure it out, have them move on to the next problem. Or, better yet, give them a 5 minute break to get some energy out. Odds are they are staring at the problem because they are frustrated by a question they probably answered 10 minutes ago that they aren't sure of and just need a little help to refocus on what is in front of them. So take a few minutes to have a conversation with them or let them play with something they enjoy or give them a few apple slices or a glass of milk. Just find something to take their mind off their frustration for a couple of minutes so they can get back to it with their mind cleared.

 

3. Pay attention to them.

Even if they seem like they are completely focused on the page in front of them, take 5 minutes out of your day to sit down with them and watch them do their homework page. Honestly, Kaley gets so much more done when she's supervised than when she isn't. I know it's a struggle sometimes to take a few minutes, trust me. Our lives are crazy. But just taking that time will let them know that you're paying attention. And then when the time is up, their motivation to get done is still there because they know you were paying attention so they're pretty sure that you still are paying attention. It makes a huge difference, I promise.

 

4. Let them work it out the way they need to.

This stuff isn't easy for most kids. That's why they have homework. They're reinforcing what they learned in school that day to help solidify it in their minds. So if they need to use a number line to finish their addition facts, let them use a number line. If they have to read every word of their book out loud, let them read out loud. Let them figure out what works best for them. They know their learning style better than anyone else could hope to know. So if you give them the opportunity to do it their way, they are more likely to not fight you on the whole idea of homework. And this works even on days they are positive the sky is purple.

 

5. Always check over their work.

ADHD kids have minds that run a mile a minute. There is just no slowing it down. And this can lead to carelessness and mistakes when it comes to things they should be taking their time on. If they've just finished a math sheet with 30 problems in less than 2 minutes, check their work. You'll likely find something they missed or that they answered incorrectly. If they read a 10 or 15 page story in 5 minutes, ask them questions about it. Ask them to identify characters, tell you about the plot, identify how it ended. Chances are they'll have to go back and look through it to tell you because they just read the words without taking the time to comprehend what they read.

 



Tips for Traveling ...With Children

This weekend we went away for a few days. We didn't go far, just a few hours down the road, but it's far enough that we stayed overnight rather than driving home. Which got me to thinking about how different it is to travel alone versus traveling with children. So I thought I would put together a few tips and tricks I've learned over the years.

1. Clothes

Most people go with the "2 pairs of pants, 4 t-shirts, maybe one nice outfit and an extra pair of shoes" method when packing. But I've learned from experience that that is the worst way to pack for a kid. Because then they have too many choices and they are overwhelmed haggling over which shirt goes with what pair of pants and you're now 30 minutes late getting out the door.

Pack clothes in sets. Full sets. Socks, underwear, pants, shirt, and hair bows or hats if necessary. Stick them in a large Ziploc bag, squeeze all the air out and stick it in the suitcase. Do this for however many days you are planning to be gone, plus an extra one or two and you're done. Then, when they wake up in the morning all they have to do is select a bag and get dressed. Trust me, it saves a lot of time and energy. And there's a much less chance of any early morning arguments.

 

2. Food

It's really easy when you're going on a road trip to just say we'll stop for fast food along the way. Really easy. But it's not good for your wallet... or you... or your child. So just don't plan on that.

Easiest thing to do is to grab a few small Ziploc bags and create small snack packs for the ride. Goldfish, pretzels, fruit snacks, cereal, teddy grahams- you're options are almost unlimited. So do yourself a huge money-saving favor and pack some snacks. It won't even take much to satisfy those tiny tummies on a trip because they're just too excited to get where you're headed!

 

3. Bathroom

My best advice? Don't trust your child when they say "I just went to the bathroom." Odds are they didn't and they're just trying to get out of going at all. And when you're headed on a road trip that will take a few hours you're not going to want to stop every ten minutes. My suggestion? Have your child go to the bathroom 15 minutes before go time. And then again right before go time. And plan your stops along the way at points that make the most sense for your journey.

We take many trips up to the Raleigh-Durham area each year and have made it our habit to stop about halfway there, fill up the gas tank, stretch our legs and take Kaley to the bathroom. Every once in a while we won't feel the need to stop, so we won't and not even ten minutes past that highly populated area Kaley has to go to the bathroom. And by that point it's another twenty minutes or so to the next place we can stop. So we're hoping and praying she can make it that long while she's bouncing up and down in the backseat reminding us every 30 seconds that she really has to go.

 

4. Toys

Every kid wants to bring every toy they own with them when they travel. Even if they're just going for the day, they just have to have every tiny little Lego or Polly Pocket. And you're standing there wondering why everything doesn't fit in the car for your three hour drive. Stop. Take a deep breath. And don't let the kids have a say in what toys they bring.

If you take just ten minutes to pack a small bag with their toys it will all be ok. They'll be happy you just thought to bring them a few toys that they won't miss the doll at home they never play with. I promise. But once you tell them to pack a bag? That's when you're bringing every Hot Wheels car ever created with you. And you don't want those all over the floor at Grandma's house. So just grab a few books. a coloring book and crayons and maybe a few toys to keep them occupied on the drive to wherever you're headed and call it good.

 

5. Electronics

I know, I know, electronics are practically considered the devil by some parents, but just hold on for a minute. When you're sitting in the car for two or three hours, the kids are in the backseat going nuts, what's the first thing you offer up? Your phone, right? Right. And maybe they actually HAVE an iPod of their own at home, you just told them they couldn't bring it with them. Why? Because it's family time and you're supposed to be enjoying your experience together. Well let me tell you that you shouldn't plan to enjoy the car ride there. Just plan to live through it and enjoy your time once you're out of the car.

Let the kids have at least one electronic in their hands in the car. Whether you have a DVD player that everyone in the backseat can see or they each have a handheld system, just let them have it. Trust me, it will save you tons of arguing and a lot of attitude from your lovely children. And, as a result, they will be much more willing to have a good time as a family once you reach your destination!

 

 

So there you have it. Just a few tips for traveling with children. And wherever you're headed this holiday season, may your travels be safe and may you enjoy the time you have with loved ones.