Meet the Bridesmaids (and the Not Bridesmaid)

When Pat asked me to marry him, we immediately began planning. After we picked the date came the hard decisions. Like bridesmaids.

 

We decided right away that we didn't want a huge bridal party. He's one of 15 children, but he wasn't into having that many people joining us on the altar. Works for me! I was already sitting there trying to figure out who in the heck I wanted to stand up there with me and how many old friendships I was going to have to dig up to cover the number of siblings he has. Then I didn't have to worry about it. Good!

 

I knew immediately that my Maid of Honor is going to be my sister. We've said it since we were little and I've already failed her. Twice. She wasn't present at either of my first two weddings. And I can honestly say I'm glad now that she wasn't there because it makes this even more special for me. My dream is finally coming through, and the person I always imagined would be standing up there to support me is going to be there. I am so excited to see her in her beautiful dress and know that she is behind me 100%. Trust me, if she wasn't, she wouldn't have consented to be my Maid of Honor. Or gone to David's Bridal and purchased her dress.

 

 

After that, my next choice was obvious. Best Friend. DUH! Rachel and I have sort of a weird friendship. But in a good way, though. See, we've known each other since middle school. And we were sort of friends then. But only because we were 2 out of 3 girls in our computer class. Fast forward, we're in high school. And we are friends between the end of lunch and 5th period. Why? Because we happened to be walking the same direction and she was part of the same circle of friends as my at the time boyfriend. Fast forward a few years later? MySpace is big, we "meet" through a mutual friend at the time and we've been best friends ever since. That was 2008. In our 5 and a half year friendship, Rachel and I have spent less than 10 days together. When she comes for the wedding, we will FINALLY break that 10 day goal. By one day. But it's progress! And regardless of how little time we actually get to spend together, she is absolutely, without a doubt my best friend in the entire world. No matter what, she's here for me. And she understands me. It's awesome. Our phone conversations pick up just where they left off and it's like we've never spent a day apart in our lives.

 

Now Pat and I had decided on 3. He selected his 3, I selected two. And then I was trying to figure out who my third bridesmaid should be. It didn't take long to figure out who it should be. When I moved to NC in 2006, my first real friend was my next door neighbor. She was a Marine, had just had her first child and was young (but not as young) like me. Jayme from The Semper Fi Life of a Marine Corps Wife and I bonded over bottles and birth control and have been best friends ever since. We've had our ups and downs as all friendships do, but we've managed to come out strong and have an amazing relationship! She is supportive, kind, an amazing wonderful and always puts her kids first. I couldn't imagine celebrating my wedding day without her!

 

When I initially pictured my wedding, I thought of 4 people. But after some thinking I had decided not to include the fourth person. Well, she definitely proved that I made the right decision.

 

The weekend after I had selected my bridesmaids and they'd all said they would be here for me, I was headed out to go look at dresses. I decided to post on Facebook that I was headed there and my bridesmaids and mom should keep their phones close at hand so they could see pictures when I sent them! Because every bride wants the input of these people when they pick their dress, right? Well, maybe they don't, but I wanted to include them even though they weren't actually able to be with me. So when I posted the status update to Facebook I tagged them in it.

 

Not even two minutes later I got an angry text message from the fourth person I had opted not to include. She was mad that I hadn't asked her to be a bridesmaid because she had been there for me since high school and we were best friends and I chose the wrong person. Whoa, hold up a minute.

 

One, she stopped talking to me when I moved out to NC. Two, our friendship since she moved to NC had been off and on because she kept getting mad at me for stupid little things. And three, no. She clearly proved to me that I did NOT choose the wrong woman to be my bridesmaid.

 

Here's my issue. It's my wedding and Pat's wedding. Which means we, the married-couple-to-be get to make the decisions. Which means that we get to select our bridal party. Which means that if you have an issue with what we choose... Well that's just too bad for you.

 

It really frustrated me that this person thought she would get to just decide that she was in my wedding. And that it was ok to get angry with me for not asking her to be my bridesmaid. It's my choice, and I clearly made the right decision.

 

I'm also really sad, though, because she has taken it so far. Our friendship has been completely erased be her. She stopped calling me and texting me. She never asked to make plans after that. Our friendship on Facebook was deleted, as was mine with her husband, and she even went so far as to block me. And I don't understand how our friendship could have meant so little to her that she was willing to give it all up over a decision for the wedding.

 

Why would I have wanted her up there with me on my Wedding Day if she was willing to throw our friendship out the window just because I didn't ask her? It says a lot about how little our friendship truly meant to her. And I am sad that our friendship is gone, but in a way I'm glad. Because it is so obvious by her subsequent actions that what we had wasn't really a friendship. It was just convenient for her at the time.

 

So, as a result of all of this, I am very happy with the three women I selected to be my bridesmaids. I know that they will be there for me through thick and thin and that they support me in my marriage. I am forever thankful for them and the influence they have on my life.

 

 

Wedding Updates [2]

We are finally rolling full steam ahead with the wedding plans! Don't worry, I'm still paying plenty of attention to work and school... They're just not my top choice to write about right now. So I'm going to write about the wedding happenings!

First things first, if you haven't read our engagement story, you can read that by clicking here.
Also, if you didn't catch the first update I wrote, you can check that out here.

Now, on to the new stuff!

I mentioned in my last post that I was going to start calling reception venues to see what we could find. Well, I did start calling. And it was either booked or no one would call me back. I seriously put in calls to every venue in existence in the area. Except one.

A few weeks into our engagement we attended an event for the school that I work for. I instantly fell in love when the venue and immediately began asking questions. When we mentioned that we were looking at a June wedding, we were told that they were booked solid all the way from the beginning of April to the end of June and into July next year. Once we finalized the date as May 31st, I basically gave up on that particular venue believing it to be booked.

After several weeks of calling and being disappointed by a number of places, I decided to just call the venue I originally wanted. I figured it was a long shot, but worth a try because I was seriously on the verge of just saying we weren't going to have a reception. It had been that awful.

So I gave them a call, left a message and we got in touch. And much to my everlasting amazement, they were available that day! I'm not kidding, our wedding day is the only Saturday available in that venue from April until mid-July next year. Talk about meant to be! We discussed price and I asked all of the important questions and said I would get back to them.

It took Pat, Gramma and I all of about three minutes to decide that this was the place and that it must have been meant to be! I called back immediately and we scheduled a meeting for today to draft a contract. This afternoon Pat, Kaley and I made our way over, went over the contract details and signed away. We officially have a reception venue in the middle of downtown! It's gorgeous and I cannot wait to figure out decorations!

What else has been accomplished? A wedding website! I finally put together a wedding website. Eventually I will give the link to everyone who has been invited to the wedding, but for now I've kept it to the bridal party and family. I'm using it as a place to post all of the necessary information they need to know. For example, where do the men go to be fitted for their outfit? And what color shoes do the bridesmaids need? And what color should my mom and Pat's mom be wearing? Yup, that's all on there! Now I don't have to answer the same question via text message from what feels like 17 million different people. Easier on me, easier on them. No one is forgetting anything and no one is forgotten!

Pat and I also decided on a ring bearer. Traditionally the ring bearer is a little boy, but we're going to be untraditional. Our ring bearer is actually going to be his niece. She's seriously one of the sweetest little girls I have ever met and I am so delighted that her mother is willing to let us include her in our ceremony. She and Kaley are going to wear the same dress, Kaley will hold a basket of flowers and Dalayna will walk down with Kaley carrying the rings on a bible. I think it's going to be absolutely adorable!

Our engagement photos came in a couple of weeks ago! If you follow me on Facebook you've seen a few of the photos as I've posted them. I am absolutely thrilled with the way they turned out and Kaci from Sweet Pea Photography did a fabulous job!

Right now I'm fiddling with them a little bit trying to create a Save the Date card that I like. I've made five. And I'm still not sure I have the right design, but I'll share my two favorites up to this point with you. Remember, they are a work in progress and I'm still creating and tweaking!

#1

#2

And that's where we are with our wedding plans right now. Next big task to tackle? Centerpieces and food. Oh, I actually purchased the vases for our centerpieces last night! $1 each from the Dollar Tree. Now to just figure out exactly what it is that I want to do with them....... I'm thinking water and floating, flameless tea lights with ivy!

And now I'll leave you with just a few of my favorites from our engagement photos!

34 weeks, 1 day, 16 hours and 22 minutes

Wedding Updates [1]

So I have been trying to wait until we had our engagement photos back to write a post about the happenings for the wedding. But our photographer was unfortunately having some computer troubles and had to send it off to be fixed. So we are still waiting to get those back, but hopefully it will be within the next couple of weeks and I can share those with you.

In the meantime, though, we've made quite a bit of headway towards the wedding!

The first thing we did, honestly without intending to, was find my dress. The weekend after Pat and I got engaged, we were heading to Greenville. Being the crazy person that I am, I had already created an account on David's Bridal and they had called to set up an appointment. Figuring it would be a good opportunity to look around and see what I liked, I set one up for that Sunday when we would be in town.

Little did I know that I would walk in and choose 10 dresses to try on. And I absolutely didn't think that I would try on only 4 before I found the dress. Honestly, it couldn't have been any more perfect. It fit like it was made for me, no alterations necessary. I added a few accessories to it to really complete the look and chose a sleeve style and a veil and we were good to go. I was able to walk out of the store with my dress THAT DAY!

What else happened that day? Well, we were able to find Kaley's dress! Kaley is going to be our flower girl and she is so incredibly excited. It really is adorable to listen to her talk about the wedding and all of the plans she has for throwing flower petals as she walks down the aisle. Oh, and you should seriously hear her reception plans. Pizza. Milk. Cookies.

But anyways. So we found the perfect dress for Kaley, also. Unfortunately she's crazy tiny so fitting a dress was a struggle. We actually ended up going with one in a size 6. Why? Because I wanted the length of it. There's about 4 inches in the body that have to be taken in, though, because she's never going to fill out that much in the next 9 months. It's just not a happening thing in her life. But she still looked adorable when she tried it on! And the colors of it match my dress!

I also selected a dress for my bridesmaids that day, as well as the color (Champagne) they would be in. It was probably the easiest experience I've had, too, because I texted them and said this is the dress and color and I didn't receive any complaints! Amazing! Honestly, that really tells me that I made the right decisions about who should stand up with me that day. It couldn't be any better and I am so excited!

What else have we accomplished? Well, we've started a wedding folder for all of the paperwork and everything we will collect over the next several months. Does that count as an accomplishment? It even has things in it already!

We also had our meeting with Fr. Bill and set an official date for the wedding! Pat and I will be married on May 31, 2014! The church is reserved, Fr. Bill has it on his calendar and all that's left is to coordinate with the Deacon who we hope will actually perform the ceremony. We're trying to make life difficult. Pat and I want the Deacon to marry us, but we want a full Mass. And only a priest can perform a full Mass. So we're working out our own special ceremony with everyone fit in!

Fr. Bill gave us the beginning paperwork to fill out and the book to begin choosing the music selections and readings we would like to have incorporated into our ceremony. When he gave it to us, I was thinking it was way too early. But now that I'm looking at the entire picture and everything we have going on this year.... Yeah, we're going to start looking at that book this weekend!

We've started making a list of reception sites and I plan to start making calls for rates and such at the beginning of next week. I know that we need to book it as soon as possible, and if life was perfect it would have already been done, but we had to wait until we had the date worked out with the church before we could reserve a reception hall. So I'm working on it. It's just not done yet.

Yesterday we went back to Greenville for my birthday. I decided that what I wanted most for my birthday was to get some things done for the wedding. We still hadn't decided on a secondary color to go with the Champagne I had originally chosen. So off we went to spend twenty minutes staring at the rack of fabric in DB debating over which one we liked best. In the end we went with the color called Wine. Personally I find it amusing that our colors are Champagne and Wine and we're planning to have very little alcohol at the reception, only one glass of wine per person for the toast. There's going to be children all over the place and no one needs to be drinking heavily in front of them!

So anyways, we selected a color. Once I'd selected the color we were able to look for a decorative bow for Kaley's flower girl basket! My great grandfather made beautiful hand-woven baskets for each of his grandchildren and great-grandchildren to have their flower girl carry when they were married. I love the basket, so I don't want to cover it entirely, but I do want a little bit of color added to it.

We also found a dress for Gramma to wear and got ideas for my mom and Pat's mom! And can I just say that Pat was truly awesome yesterday? We spent an hour and a half in DB and he didn't complain once the entire time. I am truly blessed!

He also never complained when we walked down the storefronts to Men's Wearhouse to select outfits for the men! We settled on tan pants, with a tan vest, an ivory button down shirt and a champagne tie for Pat. I went with the tan suit because it really fit my vision and it was, literally, a perfect match to the Champagne swatch I held up to it for comparison! The groomsmen and my dad will be wearing the same thing, but with a wine colored tie. And the sleeves of their shirts will be rolled.

My inspiration from Pinterest :)

We also made our way over to Barnes and Noble where I made a bee-line for the wedding section to select a Wedding Planning Workbook! I am happy to say that I only looked at ten or so before I finally settled on one. It's a binder, with dividers, and everything is clearly labeled. Exactly what I wanted and not ridiculously expensive.

I also happened across a book that I can't wait to read! It's called "The Bride's Survival Guide: 150 Mistakes You Should Avoid for the Perfect Wedding". I'm seriously excited to start flipping my way through this book to read all of the things I really shouldn't do that it's entirely possible I already have in mind. It's sure to be educational!

At this point, that's all we have done. Honestly, yesterday morning I would have told you we had gotten no where and had so much to do that it wasn't even funny. I wasn't sure how on earth we were going to manage to get everything accomplished. But just fitting in the few things we did yesterday? I already feel so much better and like life is going to continue on its merry way and everything will be wonderful.

It's amazing what getting a few things done can do for your stress level!

37 weeks, 2 days, 5 hours, 48 minutes

until Our Wedding