A Time of Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving.

 

It rolls around every year.

 

And I can honestly say it's the holiday I am the least thrilled for.

 

Everyone's all excited for turkey and pumpkin pie and cranberry sauce. Me? I'm sitting off to one side saying "did anyone make chicken???"

 

Society has taken Thanksgiving and turned it into this massive turkey-fest and it seems like that's all anyone cares about.

 

Well, I don't like turkey and I think Thanksgiving is about so much more. And we need to remember that each year. And we need to pay attention to that each year. And we need to teach our children that Thanksgiving isn't about the food.
 

 

I believe in being thankful. To God, to the people who surround me and for the many blessings bestowed upon me in this world and in my life. And I want to share what I am most thankful for with all of you. Because blessings are meant to be shared. We are meant to be open and honest. We are meant to pay it forward and show kindness to one another. We are meant to be thankful for the life we have been given.

 

 

So before you go and enjoy your turkey dinner.....

 

This year I am thankful for many things. And it's hard to even figure out where to begin. So I'm just going to pick a point and start. There is no particular order or preference to any of what I am about to say. It's just coming from the heart and the mind and being translated to pen and paper (...keyboard and computer screen...) as it enters my thoughts.

 

Family.

Every year, every day, I am thankful for my family. They are the people I lean on, depend on and hold onto when I need love, support, kindness, energy and strength. My family is my rock, my shoulder to cry on, my entire world. They mean everything to me and I only wish I could put into words just how much I appreciate each and every single one of them. They are here for me in ways no one else can even begin to imagine. They push me through struggles and they help me see the light at the end of the tunnel. They guide me through life and have helped to shape the path I walk now. I owe my life to them.

 

Kaley.

I am incredibly thankful for Kaley. She came into my life maybe before I was old enough to truly appreciate the miracle that she is, but as I grow older I am realizing it more and more each day. Kaley has given me a sense of purpose in life. She's given me reason to work towards things I was never sure I would achieve or that I never thought possible. She inspires me and motivates me and keeps me moving forward. I wouldn't be even half the woman I am today if I didn't have my beautiful daughter to push me through the hard times and the frustration and the craziness of my chaotic life.

 

Friends.

Honestly, I am the first to say I have very few friends. True friends that I could tell anything to? I have three. My sister, my absolute best friend in the world and my first real friend in NC. And unfortunately none of them live anywhere near me. But regardless of where we are or what is going on, I know that I can count on them. I know that if I pick up the phone and dial that number, they will answer. And if they can't because they're busy? They'll text me or call me back. They never disappoint me, ever. They never let me down. It's truly a gift to have such amazing friends and I feel so incredibly lucky to have three because I know that there are people in this world who have no one.

 

Patrick.

My fiancé. Of course I'm thankful for him! He came into my life completely unexpectedly. I wasn't looking for a relationship. I wasn't looking for my forever. But I found him. All because I decided to go out for the first time in, oh, six months or so? I am so happy I decided to go sing karaoke that night. It was more worth it than I could have ever imagined. He's an amazing man, a wonderful role model to Kaley and an inspiration to myself and so many others. I am honored that he chose me to be his always and forever. I am going to love him to infinity and beyond!

 

Work.

Yeah, I know. I have a tendency to complain about my job from time to time. But I do love it and I am very thankful to have it. The people I work with have become like a second family to me. They're wonderful and supportive and understanding. And the kids I get to work with every day are amazing and I love each and every one of them. They are definitely a challenge and I have to work hard every day to make sure we accomplish what we need to, but it's worth it. At the end of the day, it's all worth it just to see the light bulb click on and the smile cross their face. It's an amazing feeling to know that, even for just a moment, I made a difference in a child's life.

 

Health.

I'm not a poster child for perfect health. Not now, not ever. But I am thankful for my health. I haven't faced more than a bad cold or a stomach bug in years. I know I'm not the most fit person in the world, but I am thankful that I am physically capable of becoming fit again. I am thankful to have full use of my limbs and full range of motion to become stronger and fight through the pain. I am thankful I can run and I can lift weights and work out without fear of permanently injuring myself.

 

God. Faith.

I can't even begin to express how lucky I am to have been raised with faith and how thankful I am to still have my faith to fall back on. I know I'm not the perfect little Catholic girl. I've never claimed to be. And I will fully admit that there are some theories in the Catholic church that I don't entirely agree with and sometimes I am very open about that. But I always have God. I always have the vision of my head from a guided reflection experience with the deacon. I always have the comfort of knowing I am loved and cared for and that God will guide me towards his purpose for me. God will not abandon me or neglect me. He is here for me. Always. No matter what. And I am going to praise Him and give thanks to Him forever.

 

Blogging.

Weird? Maybe. But I am thankful for the outlet it provides me with. I am thankful for the readers who have identified with the words I've written and reached out to me. I am thankful for the opportunity to put pen to paper (...fingers to keyboard...) and put what I feel right out there. I am thankful that I can share my thoughts with so many amazing people. I am thankful for the people I have met, both virtually and in person, through the blogging community. 

 

There are a great many more things I am thankful for, but I would be here all day if I explained each of them, so I'll end with a brief list of the remaining things I am thankful for.

 

Music

Books

Love

School

Home

Nature

My Dogs

Stability

Dreams

Dedication

 

What are you thankful for this year? 

Meet the Bridesmaids (and the Not Bridesmaid)

When Pat asked me to marry him, we immediately began planning. After we picked the date came the hard decisions. Like bridesmaids.

 

We decided right away that we didn't want a huge bridal party. He's one of 15 children, but he wasn't into having that many people joining us on the altar. Works for me! I was already sitting there trying to figure out who in the heck I wanted to stand up there with me and how many old friendships I was going to have to dig up to cover the number of siblings he has. Then I didn't have to worry about it. Good!

 

I knew immediately that my Maid of Honor is going to be my sister. We've said it since we were little and I've already failed her. Twice. She wasn't present at either of my first two weddings. And I can honestly say I'm glad now that she wasn't there because it makes this even more special for me. My dream is finally coming through, and the person I always imagined would be standing up there to support me is going to be there. I am so excited to see her in her beautiful dress and know that she is behind me 100%. Trust me, if she wasn't, she wouldn't have consented to be my Maid of Honor. Or gone to David's Bridal and purchased her dress.

 

 

After that, my next choice was obvious. Best Friend. DUH! Rachel and I have sort of a weird friendship. But in a good way, though. See, we've known each other since middle school. And we were sort of friends then. But only because we were 2 out of 3 girls in our computer class. Fast forward, we're in high school. And we are friends between the end of lunch and 5th period. Why? Because we happened to be walking the same direction and she was part of the same circle of friends as my at the time boyfriend. Fast forward a few years later? MySpace is big, we "meet" through a mutual friend at the time and we've been best friends ever since. That was 2008. In our 5 and a half year friendship, Rachel and I have spent less than 10 days together. When she comes for the wedding, we will FINALLY break that 10 day goal. By one day. But it's progress! And regardless of how little time we actually get to spend together, she is absolutely, without a doubt my best friend in the entire world. No matter what, she's here for me. And she understands me. It's awesome. Our phone conversations pick up just where they left off and it's like we've never spent a day apart in our lives.

 

Now Pat and I had decided on 3. He selected his 3, I selected two. And then I was trying to figure out who my third bridesmaid should be. It didn't take long to figure out who it should be. When I moved to NC in 2006, my first real friend was my next door neighbor. She was a Marine, had just had her first child and was young (but not as young) like me. Jayme from The Semper Fi Life of a Marine Corps Wife and I bonded over bottles and birth control and have been best friends ever since. We've had our ups and downs as all friendships do, but we've managed to come out strong and have an amazing relationship! She is supportive, kind, an amazing wonderful and always puts her kids first. I couldn't imagine celebrating my wedding day without her!

 

When I initially pictured my wedding, I thought of 4 people. But after some thinking I had decided not to include the fourth person. Well, she definitely proved that I made the right decision.

 

The weekend after I had selected my bridesmaids and they'd all said they would be here for me, I was headed out to go look at dresses. I decided to post on Facebook that I was headed there and my bridesmaids and mom should keep their phones close at hand so they could see pictures when I sent them! Because every bride wants the input of these people when they pick their dress, right? Well, maybe they don't, but I wanted to include them even though they weren't actually able to be with me. So when I posted the status update to Facebook I tagged them in it.

 

Not even two minutes later I got an angry text message from the fourth person I had opted not to include. She was mad that I hadn't asked her to be a bridesmaid because she had been there for me since high school and we were best friends and I chose the wrong person. Whoa, hold up a minute.

 

One, she stopped talking to me when I moved out to NC. Two, our friendship since she moved to NC had been off and on because she kept getting mad at me for stupid little things. And three, no. She clearly proved to me that I did NOT choose the wrong woman to be my bridesmaid.

 

Here's my issue. It's my wedding and Pat's wedding. Which means we, the married-couple-to-be get to make the decisions. Which means that we get to select our bridal party. Which means that if you have an issue with what we choose... Well that's just too bad for you.

 

It really frustrated me that this person thought she would get to just decide that she was in my wedding. And that it was ok to get angry with me for not asking her to be my bridesmaid. It's my choice, and I clearly made the right decision.

 

I'm also really sad, though, because she has taken it so far. Our friendship has been completely erased be her. She stopped calling me and texting me. She never asked to make plans after that. Our friendship on Facebook was deleted, as was mine with her husband, and she even went so far as to block me. And I don't understand how our friendship could have meant so little to her that she was willing to give it all up over a decision for the wedding.

 

Why would I have wanted her up there with me on my Wedding Day if she was willing to throw our friendship out the window just because I didn't ask her? It says a lot about how little our friendship truly meant to her. And I am sad that our friendship is gone, but in a way I'm glad. Because it is so obvious by her subsequent actions that what we had wasn't really a friendship. It was just convenient for her at the time.

 

So, as a result of all of this, I am very happy with the three women I selected to be my bridesmaids. I know that they will be there for me through thick and thin and that they support me in my marriage. I am forever thankful for them and the influence they have on my life.