Parental Alienation? I Don't Think So.

So I've been thinking about this for a while now. Not that I really have time to think about it, but it's somehow still made its way into my thoughts. Frequently. I figured I would just write about it and be done with it.

I've been a "single parent" for several years now. Kaley was under 2 years old when her father and I separated, and just a little over three when our divorce finalized. When we first separated, he was overseas. After being gone a few more months and hardly ever calling to talk to Kaley, he came home.

As soon as he was home, we were sitting down to discuss a separation agreement. We made a few adjustments here and there and sent it back to the lawyer to have it revised so we could sign. One of the things we talked about the longest was his visitation schedule with Kaley.

I tried and tried and tried to give him as much time with our daughter as possible. I didn't want to cut him out of her life because he was her father. I didn't know my father and I felt it was important that she know hers. It's why I decided I would stay here instead of move back home to the west coast. I really wanted Kaley to know her dad.

Despite my protests, he wouldn't agree to more visitation than he had asked for. What had he asked for? Every other Saturday from 10am-8pm and Thursday evenings from 5:30pm-8pm. That's it. That's all he wanted. One evening a week and every other Saturday.

I am not kidding when I say that I offered him a day every weekend. And I offered him a full weekend each month (though he would have brought her home each night because my lawyer stated that it isn't advised in the state to have children younger than age 5 sleep at the non-custodial parents home). I did everything I could to give him as much time with her as possible. I tried my best to let her see her father as much as possible. It was important.

He wouldn't agree. So I let it go because there wasn't much else I could do. We signed the papers with the visitation he had requested and life went on. For the most part he was pretty good about his visitation. Aside from being late on a regular basis, he was really good about showing up every time. He always dropped her off 30 minutes to an hour early, but he still saw her. I figured it was as good as it was going to get and I tried not to argue it with him even though it was an inconvenience to me to have to wait for him to pick her up or be home early for him to drop her off.

Fast forward about 8 months. I'm planning a road trip and he's going away for training for the USMC. They didn't completely coincide, but it was pretty close. We agreed that we would communicate as much as possible and let him and Kaley talk on the phone. It worked out well for the first few weeks, and we actually got to the point where we were more like friends than exes who couldn't stand each other. It was pretty awesome.

When we came back home from our trip, we slid back into the same visitation agreement we had before. But then he was told he was being deployed for a second tour overseas. Ok, let's talk about this.

A few weeks before he left, he and his (now) wife broke up. They were fighting all the time, life was getting complicated and it just didn't seem to be working out. When he found out about the deployment, they decided she would move back home where her parents live. Did this affect me? Not a bit.

Except that all of a sudden, with her more or less out of the picture, we were kind to each other again. It was kind of like having my best friend from high school back. We were able to take Kaley out to dinner and have a good time. We could talk on the phone without arguing. We could spend time together and not want to kill each other at the end of it. We cleaned out his entire apartment and put everything in storage without any ill will towards one another.

It was great. For everyone involved. It was kind of perfect.

For the first several weeks of his deployment, he called a lot. At least twice a week. Communication between us was good and we were getting ready to arrange Skype calls for him and Kaley to keep in touch because what three year old wants to talk on a poorly connected phone call? Certainly not mine!

But then he and his girlfriend worked things out. He stopped calling Kaley. He stopped calling period. And promises of Skype calls became non-existent. It's almost like he completely forgot that our daughter even existed. I tried to email him and find a good time to Skype but nothing ever seemed to work out. I woke Kaley up early and signed into Skype hoping he would call her, but GF was more important and the calls never happened. So on we went with life.

He came home after being gone for 7.5 months and we fell back into the old routine. It only lasted for 3.5 weeks, though, because then he moved away. We met up, discussed a new visitation schedule and child support and signed a new agreement.

Since then we have had nothing but problems. He refused to send child support and I'm the worst person in the world because I went to child support enforcement and he's now forced to meet his obligation. He refused to pay for Kaley's plane ticket to go see him that summer, so she wasn't able to go. And when he asked me to drive her up the week before school started and I said no? Well, that didn't go so well. There was always some issue or another.

He did alright calling once a week to talk to Kaley. But she wasn't very good about talking on the phone (she was only three) and I was blamed for it. I was telling her not to talk to him. I was telling her he didn't love her. I was telling her he was never coming back. No. I wasn't doing any of those things. But I got used to being blamed for them anyways.

Later that year, in a session with Kaley's counselor, I mentioned that her father was starting to harass me. He was texting me and calling me continuously. He was leaving nasty messages on my voicemail and my home answering machine. I never knew what I was going to hear, but I knew it wasn't anything Kaley should hear. Not ever. He also called the house phone repeatedly one evening, until after 9:30 at night making it impossible for Kaley to go to sleep.

Her counselor suggested blocking his number from my cell phone because he was using it inappropriately. He also suggested blocking the number from the home phone because it wasn't a cell phone registered in his name. It was in his GF's name and he was using it to harass me. Therefore I had reason to block the number and refuse calls from it. I even went so far as to change my cell phone number.

Maybe this wasn't the best idea, but it was all I could do to get away from the harassment. If he wished to talk to Kaley, all he had to do was send an email and request it or call from another phone. I didn't tell him he couldn't talk to her. I just made it clear that his actions were unacceptable and would not be tolerated. I wanted Kaley to live in a positive environment, with joy and love and an optimistic view of life and the world.

 

For months he didn't call. Because he wouldn't find another means to call. And I was blamed for it because I put an end to the harassment. I blocked the phone number for good reason, but I'm still the bad guy. Who else's fault could everything be? Surely not his own. Surely he didn't act childishly.

Eventually he got a new cell phone, registered in his name, and calls began again. But more often than not Kaley would say she didn't want to talk. I don't believe in forcing a child to talk to someone they don't want to talk to. It's not going to do anything but cause resentment and unhappiness. So I never made her talk. Maybe I was wrong for that, I don't know.

I did my best to explain to him that she didn't want to talk because she didn't know him anymore. She'd gotten to the point where she couldn't even identify him in pictures. She needed to see him in order to make the relationship real and worth something to her. I suggested Skype calls. He refused for well over a year. Because he didn't want to have to see me.

I was finally able to convince him to do Skype calls this past January. They have happened fairly regularly, and only been completely cancelled once due to a Facebook post stating they didn't actually want to have the call. But for the majority of the year the calls have taken place at least twice a month.

Recently it's come to my attention that her father and stepmother are telling everyone and their brother that I have alienated Kaley from her father. Apparently I have gone out of my way to ensure that they don't have a relationship. I have made it clear to Kaley that she is not to talk to her father, nor is she allowed to love him. I have told her that he doesn't love her and he moved away because he didn't like her.

No, no, no and NO! I have done absolutely NONE of these things. I have supported Kaley in her love for her father. I have encouraged her to talk with him and get to know him. I have sat through phone calls and Skype calls during which he has made open and subtle derogatory comments about me.

In my heart, I know that I have not always done everything the way I should have. I'm not a perfect parent and I have never claimed to be. But I feel like I have done my best with the situation that was handed to me. I have done my best to make this craziness work for everyone. I have tried to find the good in all of the bad. But it's not easy.

I feel like it isn't my job to ensure that there is a relationship between Kaley and her father. That's HIS job. It is MY job to encourage the relationship. But not to force it upon her. Not to make her hate both him and me because I made her talk to him when she didn't want to. I want her to love both of us, and I want her to love his wife and Pat. But she has to decide to love us all on her own terms.

Kaley's growing up and learning at an incredible rate. She's intelligent and not much gets by her. She's paid attention over the years and I've let her come to her own conclusions. Kaley tells me often that she doesn't think her father loves her because he doesn't show her by coming to visit. She tells me that she doesn't feel like he is her daddy because he isn't here to do anything with her. Kaley says she doesn't want to call him daddy anymore because he doesn't do the things a dad should do.

Actions speak louder than words. I think that's the biggest message I want for Kaley's father to understand. It doesn't matter how much you say you love someone, they have to see it. It doesn't matter how many Skype calls we have, without an actual visit, you're not going to have much of a relationship.

 

I've accepted that he will never understand this. My truth isn't his truth. Which means that my truth must be the lie. Nothing I ever say is accurate or honest according to him and his wife. And I guess that's just the reality they have to live in to be at peace with the decisions they have made to not maintain a good relationship with Kaley.


I don't want to feel like I've given up, though, because I don't think it's right to give up on people. So maybe I'll just hold out a little bit of hope that maybe someday things can be different. Just a little bit so I'm not completely disappointed. Maybe one of these days I'll be able to say I've witnessed a miracle.

 

 

Skype Call Gone Wrong (and a Call with the Sherriff's Department)

I have a huge exam to take tomorrow. I'm stressed over the exam, but there's something else weighing on my mind. It's been there for a while now, and I've sort of addressed it over on the Facebook page, but not to the point where I feel like I've gotten it out of my system.

Several weeks ago, Kaley was having a Skype call with her father. These calls aren't new. We've been holding them roughly every other week since January. It took him a while, but he finally came around to the concept of keeping them consistent, so that's what we've started.

Let's set the stage.

Kaley and I are sitting on the couch, the laptop is up and running and we're waiting for the telltale Skype call ringtone to sound. He's usually pretty good about being on time and this week was no exception. Cue the start of the call.

Now, for those of you who don't know, Kaley has ADHD. She's very easily distracted and often it's a task to get her to stay focused long enough to talk about one topic for more than thirty seconds. Most of these calls consist of flitting from one topic to another, briefly touching on the highlights of each.

After covering the basics (school, the weather, anything fun) we finally hit on a topic she will talk about. She'd recently attended a friends sleepover birthday party.

This friend has been in Kaley's class since they were in preschool. We've known the family for years, and their oldest son is one of my students. I'm familiar with them, Kaley is familiar with them and we trust them completely. I've never seen anything negative from either parent or heard anything that would cause me to worry.

The plan for the party was more than it is for most kids their age, but they are also growing up and times are changing. The girls (there were only 3 in attendance aside from Kaley and the birthday girl for a total of 5 girls) began their party at a local park. They played, the had dinner and the enjoyed cake and ice cream. From there the plan was to go to a hotel where they would open gifts, go swimming and settle in with a movie before it was lights out. The plan for the following morning was breakfast, followed by a trip to the nail salon and then meeting parents back at the local park. Was it more than Kaley is used to? Absolutely. But did I think she could handle it? Of course. And did I think the parents could handle it? There wasn't a doubt in my mind.

When Kaley came home from the party, we talked about it for a long time. She had so much fun and she started in on planning similar events for her own birthday next year! Talk about a kid who just couldn't contain her excitement over the entire event!

Back on the Skype call, the topic was suggested in her conversation with her father. She just went on and on. What about? Not the cake, not the movie, not the park or getting her nails done. She started describing a situation which she hadn't told me about and which was of some interest to her father and I.

What was she describing? A situation in which she and the other girls were at the hotel pool. There was an older man and his 12 year old son also there and she stated that they were being mean to the girls. Kaley told us that they had some toys and the man and his son kept taking their ball away and keeping it from them.

For the first time in years, her father finally truly paid attention to her and seemed interested. I proceeded to ask her a few questions. Was the birthday girls mom around? Were the girls being mean to the man and his son? Were they all playing together? Did birthday girls mom do anything or say anything?

Her answers all seemed alright with me, but I made a mental note to talk with the parent who was in attendance at the time. Apparently, though, I should have done something about it immediately.

Her father, with Kaley still right there on the Skype call, proceeded to lay into me about how I was neglecting our child and that I should have been on the phone with the police and he just went on and on and on. Literally raising his voice at me.

I did my best to tell him calmly that I would look into the situation and let him know what information I was able to gather from the parent. Calm and rational wasn't working, though, because he just kept at it. After about two minutes of this Kaley stomped her way across the house to Gramma's room, announcing that she was never going to talk to her Daddy again. At that point I told him it was either the end of the discussion or the end of the call.

He chose end of call.

So I ended the call because he started to raise his voice again.

Not two minutes later he was trying to call back. I denied the call. He messaged me telling me again that I wasn't taking the situation seriously and I was neglecting our child and that I was wrong to allow her to go to this birthday party.

I messaged him back, told him I was going to look into the situation and I would let him know. Then I signed off.

Now, of course, my first action was to send a message to the parent. I described the situation Kaley had told us about, questioned what had actually occurred and asked if she would provide a logical explanation. In the mean time I decided to put Kaley to bed and tell her we would discuss whether she had to talk to her father again later.

Kaley is a fantastic story teller. She also doesn't always see things the way an adult would. Knowing her the way that I do, and understanding that her perception of a situation could be vastly different than what actually happened, I waited.

What adults see vs. what children see

It wasn't long before I had a message back from the parent who was at the party explaining the situation.

Yes, there was a man and his 12-year-old son. It's a pool. At a hotel. It wasn't likely they'd have it to themselves. The girls had some toys, but they didn't have a ball to play with. The man and his son did. They were kind enough to invite the girls to play. Now, lets look at a young boy and a group of 7 & 8 year old girls. What's their favorite game? Keep away. So the girls would get the ball and not give it back. Then the boy would get the ball and not give it back. No one was being mean in the true sense of the word, but a 7 year old could see it that way.

Not two minutes after I received a response from the parent did the telephone ring. No, not the parent. Nope, not Kaley's father.

The Sherriff's Department.

Seriously?? You couldn't give me enough time to get in touch with the parent like I told you I would? Apparently that's too much to ask for and I'm supposed to be some sort of miracle worker or telepath who can communicate with anyone, anywhere, at anytime. Sorry, buddy, I don't work that way.

I calmly explained the situation to the Deputy, who laughed and understood completely how a child's imagination can get in the way of truly knowing what happened in a situation as he has a 4-year-old himself, and hung up. Oh, I also mentioned that this isn't the first time Kaley's father has called, and it isn't the first false report he's made. The Deputy made note of it and said he'd put it in the file.

I decided to log back in to Skype to clear out the messages I was certain he had sent me. And, of course, there's more. Now I'm childish for ending the call even though he was raising his voice at me. I'm a narcissist because I can't see how a situation like that would affect my child (seriously!? You didn't give me time to investigate the situation!). I'm wrong to trust the parent because obviously they're going to say anything to get out of a situation which could get them in trouble. I'm a terrible parent, blah, blah, blah. It's the usual things I hear from him all the time. I get it.

The aftermath?

Well, I spent the next two weeks trying to convince Kaley that she at least needed to get on Skype. Even if all she did was tell him she didn't want to talk, she had to appear and say it herself. I couldn't do it for her.

In that two weeks Kaley also asked, multiple times, if Pat could adopt her and be her "forever dad".

She also announced to Gramma that she was going to start calling Pat "Dad". And she has been more often than not.

Oh, and she announced that she didn't want to call her biological father "Daddy" anymore.

She wants to call him by his first name.

We've had a call since then, which is another story entirely. I'll update you on that soon. But I wonder if he noticed that during the most recent call she didn't once call him "Daddy"? Or address him by any name at all?

New England Aquarium [Boston]

I guess it's that time. Time to write about our trip to the New England Aquarium. But this wasn't an easy trip like the past few days had been. Why?

Because KBug's father met us there.

 

I didn't receive confirmation from the Ex Husband that he and his family would be joining us until the afternoon before. Naturally I hadn't told her that he would be joining us yet because I didn't want to get her hopes up and then have him disappoint her as he has countless times before. I didn't think that would be fair to her. She has had so much emotional upset in her life because of her father that I didn't want to cause an additional upset if there was no reason.

 

So Mr. Boston, KBug and I got up that morning, drove into Boston and found the parking garage. ($35 for parking. Ouch!) Once we parked the car, we put what we needed in our little backpack (wallets, phones, band-aids, etc.) and I held KBug for a minute while I told her about the day.

 

I told her that her father and his family were coming to join us and was met with a sort of blank stare. She found her voice and repeated it, after which she said "OK, can we go in now?"

 

So far so good.

 

Off we went to wait in line for tickets. If I had been smart I would have thought to reserve them online ahead of time, but I wasn't that smart. Oh well. It only took us about ten minutes to get through the line, pay for our tickets and have our picture taken before entering the aquarium.

 

Rather than standing around with a KBug who couldn't wait to go into the aquarium, Mr. Boston and I decided to take her into the small section right off the entrance where you can pet the stingrays. She's always loved the open tanks where she can feel the stingrays as the swim by, so I thought it would be a good distraction. Especially since I had yet to hear from the Ex Husband.

 

After spending a few minutes in there, I finally got a text that said they were in line for tickets. OK, I told him where we were and we decided we would meet just inside the aquarium entrance. Not a problem. I took KBug to the restroom and we waited. And we waited. And we waited. KBug isn't good at waiting and she wasn't all that interested in waiting for Daddy, to be honest. She was more interested in me holding her and talking about what was in the aquarium that we might see.

 

Once they made it into the aquarium and over to us, the Ex Husband said hi to KBug and she just sort of stared at him. Like I said before, she wasn't very interested. After bathroom trips for their family, KBug got slightly more comfortable and started up a conversation with their 3.5-year-old son and tried to talk with their 1.5-year-old daughter.

 

Then we headed into the aquarium. We sort of stuck together as a group, going to see the Seal show outside and venturing around the first floor. But once we started moving up around the giant tank in the center of the aquarium, we weren't really a group anymore.

 

KBug has always loved aquariums. But she wants to see everything. So she doesn't stay in one spot for very long. Basically she was constantly on the move, to the point where getting pictures of her was a little bit difficult because she didn't want to stand still. I managed, though.

 

We stayed together in something resembling a group through the second floor. But KBug had missed the jellyfish and I wanted to be sure she saw them. So I pulled her away, mentioned I was taking her to see the jellyfish and we went down to the tank.

 

By the time I turned around, they were gone. Mr. Boston, KBug and I thought we would move up to the next level to see if we could find them. Well, we couldn't. KBug was anxious to keep looking and was calling continuously to Mr. Boston and I to come see the tanks, so we moved on figuring we would run into them soon.

 

A few minutes later I received a text asking where we were. I told them we were on the third floor. They asked if we weren't a group anymore and I explained that I had taken her to see the jellyfish and they were gone when I turned around. They responded that they were at the top floor. I said we would be there soon.

 

We finished up half of the third floor and made our way up to the top. It took us a minute to locate them once we were up there, and by the time we did they were heading back downstairs. Awesome. I let KBug look around and then we headed down to meet them.

 

Their children were hot and hungry and getting a little cranky so they wanted to take them downstairs and move towards leaving. KBug wanted to see the other half of the third floor. So they went down, and we kept looking.

 

Eventually we found them downstairs. The Ex Husband had taken their son to see the stingrays and such, and KBug wanted to see them again so in we went. Apparently we had missed a lower level while we were in there earlier, so down to the lower level we went. It worked out awesome for me because they had more jellyfish down there and that's my favorite exhibit at aquariums, and KBug was able to experience a few more touch tanks.

 

After that we hit up the gift shop, made our purchases and left the aquarium. At that point they suggested lunch, so we headed out on a short walk to Faneuil Hall and Quincy Market. Mr. Boston had been dying to take me to Faneuil Hall all week and figured it would be the easiest way for everyone to get what they wanted to eat and then find a place outside to sit.

 

They decided that wasn't going to work for them and wanted a restaurant to sit down at. They chose Cheers. We found it, we sat, and it was pretty awkward. The Ex Husband made some attempt to talk to KBug but wasn't all that successful. When the only topics you have to talk about are school, fishing, pigs and chickens you aren't going to hold the interest of a 7-year-old for very long. And talking about fishing wasn't the best idea because it only reminded her that she would get to go fishing that evening when we went back to the campgrounds.

 

After everyone had eaten and we paid our separate checks, KBug hopped up and told her father she was ready to leave now so she could go fishing at the campground. Mr. Boston and I hadn't made any mention of leaving to her, so I was surprised when she said she was ready to go. Children know when they've reached their limits, and I guess that was her way of saying she had reached hers and didn't want to spend anymore time with him.

 

So we left the restaurant, she gave him something resembling a hug and we were on our way.

 

She made no mention of seeing him again for the duration of our trip. I had her write about something we did every day in a notebook, with a space for writing and a space for pictures, so she can have it to remember our summer, and he didn't even make it into that. I think that speaks volumes.

 

Anyways. That was our day at the New England Aquarium. And, like every other day, of course I took an abundance of pictures.

 

Excited for the aquarium!

Stingray tank

I love her so much!

She pulled  Mr. Boston's hand and dragged him to almost every exhibit

 

Jellyfish!

More jellyfish!

Since being home, KBug has only mentioned seeing her father once, as she was looking at the aquarium pictures with Gramma. Gramma had asked her if anything else happened at the aquarium and she shrugged and said her Daddy was there. She then told Gramma he was boring. I think that about covers it.

 

If you haven't read about our previous Boston adventures, you can read all about the Museum of Science, the Children's Museum, 4th of July, and Canoe River Campground by following the links.

 

Next stop: Franklin Park Zoo

Is A Compromise Possible?

I sent a letter to the Ex Husband the other day. And I decided to send it two ways. It could have been really easy if I had an email address for him. But (1) I'm not sure if he has one, and (2) I know he wouldn't give it to me if he did.

How do I know that he wouldn't give it to me? Well because according to them I am the worst person in the world and I would abuse the privilege of having his email address. I have nothing better to do with my time, right? All I do is sit around and pine for my ex husband and wish that he would come back to me? Ha! Not a chance.

Anyways. So I sent this letter. I sent it through snail mail and I sent it through Facebook. But the Ex Husband doesn't use his Facebook account as far as I know, so I sent it in a message to his GF. I figured why not? As long as he sees it some way or another, I don't care how it gets to him. Communication has always been an issue between us and I didn't want to risk a phone call because that usually ends up with both of us frustrated, raised voices and it's just never good.

Now I think this was a reasonable letter. I think I am being reasonable in my requests and I am hopeful that he will work with me to make this as simple as possible for everyone.

What were my requests? That the Skype calls between him and KBug happen consistently. And that they happen always on the same day of the week, at the same time.

I gave him some things to think about. I asked him to choose the frequency of these calls, whether it be weekly or bi-weekly, and I gave him the opportunity to choose the day of the week.

I don't want to dictate anything. I don't want to control every little thing. But we need to find a way to compromise and find what works best for all of us. I understand that he has a family- I have a family, too. I understand that he and his GF both have work schedules to be considered- I have a work schedule to be considered, as well.

My work schedule is going to be crazy this year. There are certain days of the week that do not work for us, and I told him as much in the letter. I suggested a time that would work best for KBug and I, but I am open to a new time suggestion should he need a change.

Will he be willing to compromise with me and find a solution? I can't say. At this point all I know is that he read the letter and I was told he wanted to think about it for a few days. Honestly, I'm not sure what there is to think about, but I'm willing to let it go and wait.

I know that what I am asking may complicate their life. It will certainly complicate ours, too, because whatever night they choose will ultimately be a night that we cannot make plans. But I am willing to make that sacrifice. Whether or not they are, I can't say. I have to wait to hear from them.

I'm hopeful that he will be understanding of the fact that I need to set a routine for KBug and I this year. She will be in second grade, with more homework and projects, with at least one extra-curricular activity. I am teaching five grade levels of religion this year, as well as teaching middle school faith formation on Sunday evenings. On top of that I am in charge of the cheer team, training for a half marathon and finishing my degree. Chaos is what our lives could be. Chaos is what I am trying to avoid.

The only way that I can see to avoid chaos is to have a specific routine. We need a schedule. We need to know what is going on at any specific moment and what is happening next. Maybe it's not the fun way to live life, but it is the only way I can see for us to make it through this year.

I guess I'll just have to wait and see what happens. Is he willing to compromise and work with me to continue calls with KBug? Or is he perfectly content to give up his communication with her?

Only time will tell.

"I Don't Want To Talk To Daddy Today"

I have had a few posts running through my head over the course of the last few days. And I'm still sitting here debating what to write about. Sometimes I have so much going on in my head that it's hard to really pin point one thing to focus on. But for now I think I will focus on KBug's Skype call with her father last week.

I wrote briefly that KBug wasn't enthusiastic about a call with her father last Wednesday. I had told her earlier in the afternoon that the call was set up and she just told me she didn't want to talk him that day.

Ok, we'll talk about it again later.

This and That

So if you read my So What Wednesday! post from earlier today, you know that I wasn't all that motivated this morning. But I have good news. I found my motivation!

Honestly? There wasn't any one thing that specifically motivated me to start getting things done. It was just that I needed to do it and I knew it. So I hopped up and started getting things done. Yay me!

Sometimes it's really easy at the end of a school term when I'm finished with my classes (Yay, I passed my marketing paper!) to get really lazy for a couple of weeks while I'm waiting for my next term to begin. So I usually slack off way more than I should, but I'm trying really hard to not do that with the next two and a half weeks. I am only 39 units away from graduation. And I could easily get the work done for 12 of those units in the next two and a half weeks. I wouldn't be able to submit my papers or schedule my test until after June 3rd, but I could be ready to do that as soon as I talked to my mentor. And that would put me at only 27 units left before graduation.

Updates: Challenges for Me and KBug's Birthday [pictures]

via
this pretty much sums it up... :)
 

So I'm sitting here avoiding folding the three baskets of laundry I've let pile up over the weekend.... And I thought to myself

"Christine, you haven't written anything in a couple of days..."

 

Birthdays Without Daddy: 5 out of 7

Today is KBug's 7th birthday. My little girl is seven years old.

Wow.

 

That's not what I plan to write about this morning, though. Today I want to write about KBug and her dad.

 

This will be the second year in a row that KBug will not be speaking to her father on her birthday.

Single Mama Moment

KBug has been having a lot of trouble going to bed at night for the past several weeks. She's big on the "I don't want to go to bed", but lately it's not just a matter of whether she wants to or not. It's like she can't calm herself enough to lay down and go to sleep. Her brain just isn't shutting off and letting her rest.

Always Learning, Always Growing

Well, yesterday and today were emotional days for me. Not emotional in the normal sense, though. A typical emotional day involves some sort of anger, sadness, despair, desperation, moodiness, etc.

Well, my emotional day was not that.

Time to Grow Up

Well, KBug had another call with DD this past week. And she was pretty miserable about it.

I knew going into the call that she didn't really want to talk to him and her enthusiasm level didn't increase any when she got on the computer. I had kind of hoped that it would so that they could have a good conversation, but it didn't happen. And I can tell you why.

It's the Future in One Time Zone, and the Past in Another

It's been a while since I last wrote a blog, so it's time for some updates!

First off can I just tell you all how much I really do not like time zones? And there are a number of reasons. Let's start with this one. Most of my family lives on the other side of the country. Which means that they are either two or three hours behind me in their day. So, lets say that I wake up early and realize I want to talk to my mom about something?

A Theatrical Cast

This is definitely not the first blog I've ever started. I have written many posts under a number of different blogs. But this is the first one that I really feel is going to be different. I may not post all that often, but I will post what is on my mind. I won't guard things for fear of offending others. I won't keep things to myself as much. I will be open and honest and love my writing because that is really what you're supposed to do. You should write what you feel. So, here I go with what is on my mind right now.