You never really have any idea how much news, whether good or bad, will hit you when it presents itself. Honestly, the news I'm having to digest right now just seems completely unreal to me. Like it's a complete impossibility in my life and everyone is lying. It's unfathomable.
This afternoon I learned that my high school choir teacher has passed away.
Now, some of you are probably reading that thinking "Who the heck cares? She was a high school teacher!" But that's not what's running through my head right now.
Most people float through high school, never attaching to any particular teacher. Why? Because most high school teachers don't take the time to get to know their students. They see them every day for at least 180 days a year but they hardly know who they are. And some don't even bother to learn all of their students names. It's horrifying.
My freshman year I joined the concert choir. It wasn't anything big or fancy. It wasn't exceptionally challenging. But it satisfied my need to sing. And my fine arts requirement.
I walked in having heard stories here and there about how wonderful the choir teacher was, how much every student she'd ever had loved her and how amazingly talented she was. Basically I walked in just like every other student in that class.
But she turned out to be so much more, and it didn't take long to figure out why. Mrs. K was full of life and energy and unconditional love for each and every teenager who crossed the threshold into her classroom. And trust me, not all of them seemed even tolerable. From the moment I walked in the door I knew I was going to have a great time in her classroom. Her confidence and how easy going she was made me feel at ease and even a little more confident in myself. I didn't know it was possible to feel better about myself just by simply being in the same room as someone.
We had an amazing year in choir that year. I enjoyed literally every single minute of her class. The music she introduced us to, the solos she gave out, the opportunities she provided for us were so much more than I ever imagined were possible for a high school choir. It was truly a blessing to be a member of such an amazing group, conducted by such a knowledgeable and amazing person!
So on I went to sophomore year. That year I decided that I wanted more of a challenge. I decided to audition for a higher level choir and was accepted into her Women's choir. The music was definitely more challenging, with crazy harmonies and more a capella work added into the mix. Talk about pushing us to our limits. But she believed in us! And she always knew we could learn and perform the pieces she selected. And, because of her faith in us, we always were able to come through for her. I know I wanted to because I felt like she deserved it. Mrs. K put all of her effort into her work, so I wanted to give back to her what she gave to me. And our concerts and performances were always our best.
Junior year I was, again, a member of the Women's choir. That was the year I was pregnant with Kaley. We started off the year well! We were learning new pieces, we were all getting along and everything was perfect!
I remember, though, around November she asked me to stay for a few minutes at the end of class. It was my last class of the day so it really wasn't a big deal. So I stayed, trying to figure out what in the heck I had done that she needed me to stay late for.
Someone had told her about my pregnancy. She wanted to be sure her information was correct. And then she did something I never thought a teacher at a huge high school would do.
Mrs. K supported me. She told me she was there for me. She asked if there was anything she could do for me. She said I was always welcome in her choir, no matter what my circumstances.
Talk about completely unexpected and absolutely shocking! I had never had a teacher who cared about me that much. Not once in my life could I pick out a teacher that was willing to support me since I had started middle school. I really didn't know what to do with it except thank her and be on my way.
A few weeks later, she missed a couple of days of school. And then we were all informed that they were running tests to determine what was going on with her. The end diagnosis was cancer.
Bring on the chemo, the radiation and anything else the doctors could think of. She was ready for it. She was determined to beat it.
By the end of that school year, she was still fighting. That was 2006.
I moved away that summer. Every time I went home and school was in session I went to visit her, though. I brought the baby in so she could see her and I sent email updates occasionally. Even after I stopped sending those, I kept up with her progress through the blog she began when she was first diagnosed. It wasn't as much as I could have done, but it was something.
Earlier today I received a mass message on Facebook from someone I used to know in high school. The message was notification of Mrs. K passing away and of a group they are trying to form to perform a concert in her honor. I was in complete shock.
And then it hit me.
The tears started rolling. And I honestly couldn't figure out where they were coming from. But then I thought about it. I thought about how she had truly been my entire high school experience. She was the good in everything, she was the light and the life in my experience. She was there for me. Mrs. K actually cared about her students.
I came across a video (click the link to view) online from a few years ago. It was made when she was given the Teacher of the Year Award in 2011. And it completely summarizes everything she did to make me feel loved and cared for in her classroom. She was my "home" at school, for lack of a better term.
Mrs. K will be greatly missed, by myself and by others. The energy she put into her work amazes me. Her tenacity and her perseverance are completely inspirational. I hope someday I can feel as though I have even half the life and love within me that she had within her.
I love you, Mrs. K, and I am eternally blessed for having been your student.
And I know you're up there singing your heart out with that choir of angels.
