End the Homework Struggle

I don't know about you, but we have a tendency to struggle with homework in our home. Honestly, I kind of feel like a bad mom sometimes because it's not like I have 2 or 3 more kids to supervise during those after school hours. I only have Kaley. And we still have difficulties.

Kaley has ADHD. She is medicated. That's a struggle in and of itself which you can read about HERE. But due to her ADHD, homework is such a hassle most days.

I know, I know, there isn't hardly a child alive who loves doing their homework. But, at 7 years old, most of them are willing to sit down and just get it over with. Mine? Not so much. By the time we get home at 3:30, she's done for the day. Her medicine is wearing off, her attention span is practically zero and the ability to focus flew out the window about an hour ago. That's just the way it is.

So how do we make it through? How is it she still has A's in all but one class (forgive the child for her B in math- she's just not very good at it...)? Because over the past two and a half years that she has had homework I've found some things that really work with her ADHD. And I've decided that I won't be selfish with them anymore and I will share them all with you because I know ADHD is something many children struggle with.

1. Do NOT let yourself become frustrated.

This is one that I have had a difficult time with, to be honest. It has taken me a very long time to learn that my frustration has an adverse affect on Kaley's productivity level. When I become frustrated, she knows it and she pays more attention to that than she does to what she is supposed to be doing. Many of us parents think that raising our voices, expressing our irritation is letting our children know what they should be doing. It's not. It's just taking what little focus they have even further away from their homework. Not conducive to completing the assignments.

 

2. Do NOT let your child become frustrated.

If they've been sitting at the table, staring at "3+7=" for 20 minutes and can't seem to figure it out, have them move on to the next problem. Or, better yet, give them a 5 minute break to get some energy out. Odds are they are staring at the problem because they are frustrated by a question they probably answered 10 minutes ago that they aren't sure of and just need a little help to refocus on what is in front of them. So take a few minutes to have a conversation with them or let them play with something they enjoy or give them a few apple slices or a glass of milk. Just find something to take their mind off their frustration for a couple of minutes so they can get back to it with their mind cleared.

 

3. Pay attention to them.

Even if they seem like they are completely focused on the page in front of them, take 5 minutes out of your day to sit down with them and watch them do their homework page. Honestly, Kaley gets so much more done when she's supervised than when she isn't. I know it's a struggle sometimes to take a few minutes, trust me. Our lives are crazy. But just taking that time will let them know that you're paying attention. And then when the time is up, their motivation to get done is still there because they know you were paying attention so they're pretty sure that you still are paying attention. It makes a huge difference, I promise.

 

4. Let them work it out the way they need to.

This stuff isn't easy for most kids. That's why they have homework. They're reinforcing what they learned in school that day to help solidify it in their minds. So if they need to use a number line to finish their addition facts, let them use a number line. If they have to read every word of their book out loud, let them read out loud. Let them figure out what works best for them. They know their learning style better than anyone else could hope to know. So if you give them the opportunity to do it their way, they are more likely to not fight you on the whole idea of homework. And this works even on days they are positive the sky is purple.

 

5. Always check over their work.

ADHD kids have minds that run a mile a minute. There is just no slowing it down. And this can lead to carelessness and mistakes when it comes to things they should be taking their time on. If they've just finished a math sheet with 30 problems in less than 2 minutes, check their work. You'll likely find something they missed or that they answered incorrectly. If they read a 10 or 15 page story in 5 minutes, ask them questions about it. Ask them to identify characters, tell you about the plot, identify how it ended. Chances are they'll have to go back and look through it to tell you because they just read the words without taking the time to comprehend what they read.