A Theatrical Cast

This is definitely not the first blog I've ever started. I have written many posts under a number of different blogs. But this is the first one that I really feel is going to be different. I may not post all that often, but I will post what is on my mind. I won't guard things for fear of offending others. I won't keep things to myself as much. I will be open and honest and love my writing because that is really what you're supposed to do. You should write what you feel. So, here I go with what is on my mind right now.

Well, I am a single mom (as is obvious from the title of this blog). My daughter, KBug, is almost 7. We live with my grandmother, GMa, and my brother, PJP. We live in a small-ish town in NC, about 45 minutes away from the beach. Not a horrible place to live, but it's not where we came from. It's not home. And there are a lot of days when we really miss home.

Anyways. GMa and I are both teachers at the local Catholic school, where KBug has been in attendance for the last 4 years. It's pretty awesome to be able to work at the same place as my daughter is because I am able to see her more often than other parents see their children. I love being so close to her.

PJP is finishing up his last year of high school while he lives with us. Or, at least, that's the plan. We'll see just how much he manages to get done over the next few months.

To add some interest to our lives, though, we have KBug's father, who has been more of a Deadbeat Dad than anything. We'll call him DD. The reason he's a DD? Well, he moved away nearly three years ago and hasn't bothered to visit his daughter. Oh, and just a month ago he finally agreed to Skype dates. KBug went 2 years and 9 months without seeing her father at all. And now he just waltzes in like he's the coolest thing since sliced bread. Whatever.

Well, DD has this attachment he likes to call his "fiancé". Well, we'll just call her GF. This woman doesn't know how to keep herself out of the way. Seriously. You have no relationship WITH my daughter. You have no relationship TO my daughter. Yes, you may have children with DD. That doesn't make you anything to KBug. Except the GF who took her father away from you.

Yes, that is what KBug thinks. And rightfully so.

Anyways. So we started these Skype dates. And KBug has been very specific about only wanting to talk to DD. So that was what we arranged. Well, at the end of Call #1, KBug had asked DD to say hi to his other two children, Boy and Girl. DD said he would and asked if KBug would like him to tell GF she says hi, too. KBug said sure.

Now, none of that sounds like KBug saying "Turn the computer so I can talk to GF because she's sitting right next to you".

But that's what DD heard, so he turned the computer and put GF on screen. KBug said hi. And then said she was tired and had to go to sleep because she had to get up early for school in the morning.

RIGHT ON, KBug!

Call #2. Well, DD tried to convince me that KBug had said she wanted to talk to Boy and Girl. I said no. Why did I say no? Because KBug and I talked about who she wanted to talk to and she was very clear that she only wanted to talk to DD again.

So Call #2 happens, and KBug wasn't really in the mood to talk, so they mostly typed back and forth, which was fine. Until KBug spelled a word wrong and DD said, straight up, "That's not how you spell please" and typed the correct spelling back to her. And hurt her feelings.

Seriously? You couldn't find a better way to correct her? Like saying "Good job, KBug, but..." You should praise her efforts before you correct her because, I'm sorry, please is a tricky word for a 1st grader to spell and she did a great job sounding it out.

So, after Call #2, I told him that he hurt her feelings and he yelled at me. Whatever.

Call #3 was a big to do. This one happened last night.

So, KBug had been specific again that she only wanted to talk to DD. Not a problem. Well, then they got on and she decided she didn't really want to talk to DD, so he asked KBug if she wanted to talk to GF. Kaley shook her head no. Then Boy got out of bed, and KBug said she wanted to talk to him. So she did for a while.

And it wasn't a problem, except that GF took it upon herself to then make sure she was clearly visible on screen the entire time.

Why couldn't Boy sit on DD's lap? And why when Boy moved the laptop to his lap and took you off screen did you have to move him over so you were? Seriously? Wow. Talk about immature.

KBug said she didn't want to talk to you. And she meant it, obviously, because even when you made every effort to be on screen and insert yourself into the conversation, KBug still didn't speak to you.

Take a freaking hint already.

Anyways. So KBug talked to Boy. And KBug talked to DD. And then it was bedtime. KBug wasn't thrilled that she had to go to bed, but she did give in, realizing that she was tired and ready to get off the computer.

And then the meltdown started. Now, can I tell DD about the meltdown? No, because I'll get yelled at. So I guess he just doesn't get to know about it.

What it comes down to, though, is that something bothered KBug during the call. She was able to tell me that much. But she can't pinpoint what exactly it was that bothered her, which is normal for an almost-7-year-old. Sometimes these emotional things can be tricky and you can't always say exactly what triggered the reaction. Heck, it happens with adults!

And even if I did tell him, he would just tell me I'm wrong and trying to find ways to keep them from talking.

No, idiot. I want you to talk. I want you to be in her life. But I want you to respect her and take constructive criticism because, guess what?

You don't know her. And I do.

I know when she's upset, you don't.
I know when she's mad, you don't.
I know what makes her happy, you don't.
I know what buttons not to push, you don't.
I know how her mind works, you don't.

So, maybe instead of thinking I'm always the bad guy, you should shut your mouth and think about how well I know KBug versus how little you know KBug. Seriously DD. You are NOT the victim here. KBug is, and I am doing my best to protect her while you build a relationship. And, yes, that means that sometimes I'll have suggestions as to how you might act when you talk to her.

Anyways.

That's what's on my mind this morning. And now it's out of my system and I feel much better.

Now it's time to fold laundry, do dishes and get ready for a day of middle school students.

They're learning about Big 6 Research Skills, today.

And they're not going to like me much.

Because I'm assigning homework.

Oh well.