Is A Compromise Possible?

I sent a letter to the Ex Husband the other day. And I decided to send it two ways. It could have been really easy if I had an email address for him. But (1) I'm not sure if he has one, and (2) I know he wouldn't give it to me if he did.

How do I know that he wouldn't give it to me? Well because according to them I am the worst person in the world and I would abuse the privilege of having his email address. I have nothing better to do with my time, right? All I do is sit around and pine for my ex husband and wish that he would come back to me? Ha! Not a chance.

Anyways. So I sent this letter. I sent it through snail mail and I sent it through Facebook. But the Ex Husband doesn't use his Facebook account as far as I know, so I sent it in a message to his GF. I figured why not? As long as he sees it some way or another, I don't care how it gets to him. Communication has always been an issue between us and I didn't want to risk a phone call because that usually ends up with both of us frustrated, raised voices and it's just never good.

Now I think this was a reasonable letter. I think I am being reasonable in my requests and I am hopeful that he will work with me to make this as simple as possible for everyone.

What were my requests? That the Skype calls between him and KBug happen consistently. And that they happen always on the same day of the week, at the same time.

I gave him some things to think about. I asked him to choose the frequency of these calls, whether it be weekly or bi-weekly, and I gave him the opportunity to choose the day of the week.

I don't want to dictate anything. I don't want to control every little thing. But we need to find a way to compromise and find what works best for all of us. I understand that he has a family- I have a family, too. I understand that he and his GF both have work schedules to be considered- I have a work schedule to be considered, as well.

My work schedule is going to be crazy this year. There are certain days of the week that do not work for us, and I told him as much in the letter. I suggested a time that would work best for KBug and I, but I am open to a new time suggestion should he need a change.

Will he be willing to compromise with me and find a solution? I can't say. At this point all I know is that he read the letter and I was told he wanted to think about it for a few days. Honestly, I'm not sure what there is to think about, but I'm willing to let it go and wait.

I know that what I am asking may complicate their life. It will certainly complicate ours, too, because whatever night they choose will ultimately be a night that we cannot make plans. But I am willing to make that sacrifice. Whether or not they are, I can't say. I have to wait to hear from them.

I'm hopeful that he will be understanding of the fact that I need to set a routine for KBug and I this year. She will be in second grade, with more homework and projects, with at least one extra-curricular activity. I am teaching five grade levels of religion this year, as well as teaching middle school faith formation on Sunday evenings. On top of that I am in charge of the cheer team, training for a half marathon and finishing my degree. Chaos is what our lives could be. Chaos is what I am trying to avoid.

The only way that I can see to avoid chaos is to have a specific routine. We need a schedule. We need to know what is going on at any specific moment and what is happening next. Maybe it's not the fun way to live life, but it is the only way I can see for us to make it through this year.

I guess I'll just have to wait and see what happens. Is he willing to compromise and work with me to continue calls with KBug? Or is he perfectly content to give up his communication with her?

Only time will tell.