Mr. Boston, KBug and I had a fabulous trip up to Boston, and I have tons of pictures to show everyone, but I'm not quite ready to do that just yet. So, in the meantime, I want to sit here and tell you all about how absolutely amazing Mr. Boston was on this trip.
Now, when I say "absolutely amazing", I truly mean it. I've taken vacations before, I've been on trips here and there with people before. Let me tell you, taking a vacation is often more work than just staying home. There's always places to go, people to see, things to do. And then there's the packing before, and the unpacking afterwards. And the money? Yeah, that all disappears fairly quickly, too.
And this trip was really no different.
Except I had help.
This may not seem like a huge thing, but- trust me- it is. I have spent so long being on my own and doing everything myself, especially when it comes to KBug, that it is often hard for me to ask for help. And I don't like to ask for help because I feel like that makes me dependent on someone else. And it's often hard for me to accept help when it's offered.
When Mr. Boston originally offered to help, we were in the process of packing. I had made my lists, I knew what we needed and I was ready to get to it. Except that I had seventeen thousand loads of laundry to run before I had everything. I swear all I did for the week before we left was laundry, laundry and more laundry. It was never ending. But once it was finally all done and I was starting to pack, Mr. Boston was right there with me. He sat down with my list, read it off to me and checked it all off as I put clothing and shoes into the suitcases. And if I needed something more from another room, he hopped up quick to grab it for me. And just that little bit of help made all the difference in the world.
I'm used to packing taking me several hours. Packing for this trip took me only one hour. And that was packing for all three of us. I was absolutely astounded by the difference it made, and how much less stressful it was for me just having someone sit there and read off a list.
The next morning I was working around the house, putting together our bags for in the car. You know, the bag with all the items necessary to keep a seven-year-old occupied during a road trip. It took quite some time to pull everything together, but I wasn't too worried about it. After all, Mr. Boston was there to help and he was! He cleaned out the car and packed it full of all the bags I had already packed, and continued to organize and fill the car as I finished packing more bags. I was standing there looking at the packed car thinking "Isn't this supposed to be my job?" And he's just standing there, waiting for me to get in because we are ready to hit the road!
When we made it to his Aunt's home outside of Boston, he was still more than willing to help me out. We brought in the suitcases together. He made sure that KBug and I had everything we needed to take a shower and get ready for the day. Mr. Boston was totally attentive to our needs, and put them above his own. It was so sweet.
The rest of the week continued like that. We spent a day at the Museum of Science, and another at the Boston Children's Museum, and he helped me out with KBug. If she was getting restless while waiting for something or she wouldn't listen to me when I was asking her to do something, he would get her attention and ask her to listen for just a minute. And it was like magic. Maybe I should be worried that she listens so well to him? But I think for now I'll just enjoy it because it's helping her to focus more and in the end we are all ending up much happier than we could have been.
Friday morning we were getting ready to leave his Aunt's house to head to the campground. This brought on the first meltdown of the trip. And it wasn't KBug or Mr. Boston. It was me. And it wasn't really a meltdown so much as it was just a bit of frustration that I wasn't sure how to address. We had started our laundry the night before and I was waiting for the last of it to dry. While I was waiting, I was folding and packing the laundry that was already finished. Not a big deal. Except that KBug was seriously cranky that morning and wouldn't listen to me for anything.
During this whole experience, Mr. Boston was out on the front porch talking with his family. I didn't want to bother him while he was with his family because I know it's important to him. And it's important to me that he spend time with them. So I was trying to let it go. I was doing my best to deal with KBug on one side and fold and pack laundry on the other. It was definitely not an easy task.
After a while he came inside and he immediately knew something was wrong. I just couldn't hide it from him. And I think he was glad that I couldn't because he was more than willing to help. He told me he wanted to help and asked me what I needed to do. As soon as I let it out and told him, he was moving suitcases, taking KBug out to play and helping me out. He told me I should have just come out and asked and I told him why I didn't. He understood, but also told me that I was important and that I need to remember that he is here for me whenever I need him.
Later that day at the campgrounds, Mr. Boston took KBug fishing. She used to go fishing with the Ex Husband when he saw her, but it's been years and she's been asking me for a new fishing pole. I am not into fishing. Not one bit. But Mr. Boston took us to the store, bought her the Princess Fishing Pole she wanted and took her out to the pond. It was probably the sweetest thing I have ever seen watching him re-teach her how to bait her hook and cast her line. Adorable!
Now, here's where I really am completely blown away by the open-mind and huge heart Mr. Boston has. He absolutely adores KBug. He treats her as though she is his little princess and gives her all the love a little girl could possibly need. It's so wonderful to watch them together and I love him more for loving my baby girl. But he also understands that KBug has a father. Sure, Mr. Boston knows the history, he knows what's going on currently and he was aware of the fact that KBug hadn't seen her father in 3 and a half years. But he also understood that it was important for me to tell KBug's father that we were going to be up in Boston and invite him to come see her.
He isn't trying to take KBug's father's place, and I think that makes a huge difference in our relationship, as well as the relationship he has with KBug. Sure, he may treat her as though she's his own, but he knows she has a father and he isn't trying to be a father to her. Just a strong male role model.
Well, Mr. Boston had the pleasure of meeting the Ex Husband, his GF and their two children at the aquarium in Boston this past Saturday. And he was so easy-going about it. He didn't act any differently around KBug, because there was no reason for him to. He still hugged her, pointed things out to her and followed her around wherever she went. And I couldn't have asked for anything more.
It was a real eye-opener to see how he was with her versus how her father was with her. I'll get around to writing about that at another time, I promise. But for now, just now that Mr. Boston was more fatherly to KBug during that trip than the Ex Husband was.
Moving on. I woke up on Sunday with a terrible cold. It was dreadful. But I toughed it out knowing we had a full day at the Zoo, followed by a long drive to Philadelphia. By the end of our jaunt at the zoo, though, I was seriously exhausted. Mr. Boston helped me out again by setting up the DVD player for KBug and urging me to just go to sleep. So I did. And I slept for the majority of the six hour drive to Philadelphia, waking only to drive the last 45 minutes when he was so exhausted he couldn't hardly keep his eyes open. By that point I was beginning to feel better and was more awake than I had been earlier in the day so it was an easy drive for me.
We were only supposed to stay one night in Philadelphia, but I was still feeling so awful when we woke up Monday morning that we decided to stay an extra night so Mr. Boston wouldn't have to drive the entire way after an exhausting day touring the city. And he helped me out again that night by going with me to enjoy dinner with some old friends and then run laundry back at the hotel. Who would have thought that having help switching around laundry loads would make me feel so much better about everything? I certainly didn't!
The next morning we were packed and back on the road. Mr. Boston started the drive and we switched about half way through. A few hours later he was feeling more rested and just ready to get home so we switched back. And by the time we made it home he was still being helpful! He helped me unload the car, locate souvenirs, show pictures to Gramma and PJP and get KBug settled down.
Maybe this isn't much in the grand scheme of things, but in my life, Mr. Boston made a huge difference this past week and a half. Just being there was soothing to me, but he took it a step further and actually helped me out. He made a massive difference in the amount of stress I carried just by offering to do the little things I am so used to having to do on my own.
I have to say that this was the most restful vacation I have experienced since I have been a mother. Sure, I still had KBug to entertain every second of every day and we had our week packed full with things to do. But I also had my Mr. Boston. And he helped me hold it together and made it possible for me to fully enjoy our vacation.
It is truly amazing how just a little help can go a long way.
And we are so blessed to have such a wonderful man in our lives.
I hope one day God gives me a person who is like this and will be helpful and appreciate me and be there when i need him and so much more. God is good.
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