A young man committed suicide this weekend.
I didn't know him. I didn't know his family. I hadn't seen him before in my life.
You may be wondering why I am writing about a young man I didn't know. You may be wondering why I am writing about someone committing suicide.
This young man was 18 years old. His birthday is close to my brothers. I've been told that he would have been 19 in July. PJP will be 19 this July.
Anyone committing suicide is just a shock to the heart. It's absolutely heartbreaking and I'm still trying to figure out what I feel about it, never mind how I should feel about it. I honestly don't have a clue. I didn't know him, so is it really right for me to feel for his family? For his friends? For those who loved him and didn't tell him? For those who hated him and now wish they had the chance to apologize?
Maybe I shouldn't feel anything. Maybe it's wrong of me. But I can't just turn it off.
I may not know exactly what I feel, but I feel something.
This young man had his entire life ahead of him. Maybe he hadn't made the best decisions so far, but he was only 18 years old. He could have turned his life around and made something of himself. He could have made a difference in some else's life. He could have changed. He could have become the type of man a woman would have been proud to be with.
But he chose a different path. The permanent solution to what was likely to be a temporary situation.
Some people think that's honorable. Some people think it's brave.
I don't.
I think he took the easy way out. I've been depressed. I've been angry at the world. I've felt like I didn't have a place or a purpose. I've been where he was.
But I'm still here. And I may not know what the future holds, but I can guarantee it's better than what would have been if I had taken my own life.
I can't help but think about his family. The pain this has caused them. The anger, the tears, the heartache. They still have to live their lives. They have to live with the pain and the grief every day. They have to listen to the people around them gossip and watch those same people carry on as if nothing ever happened. But it did happen.
His parents lost a child. His siblings lost a brother. He meant something to these people. And now he's gone. And what are they left with? A million questions and a hole in their hearts.
And I'm sitting here thinking about my own brother. And I feel so incredibly lucky and blessed to still have my brother. His life hasn't been the easiest, especially in the past few years. But he is somehow making it through.
I am so thankful that my brother, even through all of the craziness of his life, has pushed through and survived. I am so thankful that PJP is here today and happy to be alive. I am so thankful that my brother has never, to my knowledge, considered leaving his family behind because of depression or loneliness or lack of purpose.
Anyone could be struggling. Even the people closest to you. So make sure you pay attention.
Maybe this young man gave a cry for help and no one answered. I can't tell you.
Hold your loved ones just a little bit tighter and a little bit longer. You never know when they'll be gone.
A young man committed suicide this weekend.
And he will forever be remembered by his family and friends.
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Suicide is never the answer. I know some people threaten to do it and never would. I dont have the heart to do it b/c I know i'd leave my family devasted and I've felt really low at points and may have said i wanted to do that but i was mad at the time. I hope this family some how finds comfort and peace. and I ask and pray that the good Lord wraps his arms about all his family and friends.
ReplyDeleteLife is too short.
This is sad. I had it happen in my own family. I have been highly suicidal as well in the past, and don't ask me how I managed to get through it all, it was sometimes just taking a minute at a time, trying to make it another minute without taking the final step. Back then, I had never thought I would be where I am today.
ReplyDeleteBut we must not forget that depression is in fact a very physical issue, an imbalance of hormones that can be treated. He might have been at a very acute state of the imbalance that made him do what he did. I have taken anti-depressants; I don't like them, because they have taken a part away from me that was nevertheless me, but maybe they are the reason I am still alive today.
My heart goes out to the family, who has to deal with the loss. Personally, I feel like you, tragedies like that make me appreciate what I have much more!