My Mr. Boston

So I've mentioned Mr. Boston a few times on the blog, and more than that on the Facebook page. But I feel like I haven't really given him a proper introduction. And he deserves that. Plus, it leads into what I really want to write about.

Mr. Boston grew up in Boston. I bet you never could have guessed that, right!? Anyways. After high school he decided to join the U.S. Army. He went to boot camp, he went to training, he was stationed in Louisiana. Mr. Boston was an Engineer for the Army, so you know he's got to have some amazing intelligence. (Which is funny because he's forever telling me he's not book smart. Forgive me if I call BS on that one!)

So while Mr. Boston was in the Army, he was sent overseas. He left in May of 2007. In the first six weeks of Mr. Boston being deployed, he was involved in three different incidents. The third incident ended up throwing him about 40 yards from the vehicle he was traveling in, knocking him unconscious, with his soldiers unable to retrieve him because they were under fire. He was out there for quite some time before they were able to get him.

He ended up in a coma for two months as a result, with massive knee and spine injuries.

When he awoke from his coma, and was released back to duty, he was given the option to return to the states. He needed surgery on his spine and they were ready to send him home. But someone higher up gave him the opportunity to stay and finish his tour. Being the dedicated soldier that he was, Mr. Boston chose to finish his tour with his unit.

 

He didn't return home until August of 2008.

Mr. Boston is now medically retired from the military. He has undergone one knee surgery and seven spine surgeries. He has an appointment with the VA doctors in September and is likely to be referred to a neurologist for an eighth spine surgery. They installed a TENS unit in his back, but it has been removed due to being placed incorrectly. As a result of the incorrect placement, he has had over 25% of the muscle under his shoulder blades removed because the unit, effectively, killed the muscle, burning it so there's no chance of it rebuilding. He has also had sections of his spine removed and replaced with bone cement in an effort to stop the deterioration. He also has severe damage to his sciatic nerve.

According to a number of doctors, Mr. Boston should not be alive today.

And according to another handful of doctors, he should not be walking.

But he is. And he is so happy to be proving them wrong every day. He's pushing limits and doing things they didn't think he would ever be able to do again.

I am so proud to know this man, to know his struggles and to watch him live his life every day, knowing he is doing what so many believed to be impossible. He is beating the odds every day and I am loving having the opportunity to watch him do it.

Sometimes it's really hard, though. I can see his pain. He tries so hard to not let me see it, and to not show the world when things are hurting him. But I know when it does. And he knows I know, and he's better about telling me now. But I know it bothers him to let me see his pain.

He pushes his limits, too. And sometimes that's a good thing, like when he gets up in the morning. That's pushing a limit some days. There are days when it hurts to get up and walk because his back just isn't up to it at that point. But he does it, knowing that he wants to get through the day.

Picking up KBug is a limit he pushes, too. She's (finally) nearing 40lbs, and he's not supposed to pick anything up over 40lbs. With her being so close to that weight limit, I worry that picking her up is going to end up causing more damage to his knees and spine. He swears he's fine, and he tells me he isn't going to stop because he loves holding her and she loves it when he does. But I still worry.

It all came to light the other night. My lower back was hurting me quite a bit and I just needed it popped. So he agreed to try and pop it for me. I stood up, put my back against his chest, and he set about trying to pop my back. But instead his back popped.

Now for most people this wouldn't be a big deal. But Mr. Boston isn't supposed to pop his back because he has so many issues with his spine and his nerve. Popping his back the other night caused his back to give out and him to completely lose feeling in the lower half of his body. He fell, quite gracefully, and managed to catch hold of my bed to keep him from entirely hitting the floor. And all I could do was watch, shocked, trying to figure out what was going on.

When I finally figured out what had happened, I didn't understand that he couldn't move the lower half of his body. He finally got around to explaining it to me, after he had laid there for a few minutes and realized the feeling in the lower half of his body wasn't coming back.

It took another few minutes, but I finally convinced him to try and pull himself up onto the bed to lay down. Once he got his upper body more solidly up there, I was able to lift his legs and help him get comfortable.

I'm not going to lie- it was terrifying. There are a great many people in the world who would run for the hills if their boyfriend had the back problems Mr. Boston has. And there are a great many who, even after saying they wouldn't leave because of those issues, would have left.

But it wasn't like that for me. I was terrified for him, worried about him, because I know this isn't the kind of life he wants. And I know that this is the life he is going to live someday and there won't be any feeling coming back to his legs. That's the hand he's been dealt.

And I love him even more for everything he does. He is making the best of the life he has, knowing that his time walking is limited. He knows that he won't always be able to run around with KBug, or push her on the swings. So he's doing everything he can to live now.

Seeing him collapse, watching it take over an hour for the feeling in his legs to come back, knowing that someday he could end up unable to walk or feel his lower body hasn't changed anything. He is still the same amazing man, and he will always be the same amazing man. Mr. Boston isn't sitting around all day feeling sorry for himself, angry at the world or God. He is happy, he is enjoying the time he has to do the things he loves, and he is looking forward to a future.

And I cannot even begin to describe, because words will not do justice, the pride and the love I have for this man.

 

 

To Infinity and Beyond.