Oh No! I Sound Like My Mother!

Ever since I was a little girl, I wanted to be a mom. I used to play mommy to my dolls and cart them around pretending they were my children. I played house with the kids from my mom's in-home daycare. I pretended that one Barbie was mom while a second Barbie (of the exact same size) was the child. Maybe I was a weird kid. I don't really know.

I do know that I wanted to be a mom, though.

 

I also know that I wanted to be nothing like my mom.

Thinking back, I actually had a really good mom. She loved her children, she loved her daycare children, she provided for us and made sure we had everything we needed. But she also made me clean my room, do the dishes, feed the dogs, watch my siblings and mop the floors. Seriously, that is not what any child wants to do.

To go with the things she had me do, she also said some things that irritated the living daylights out of me. I swore up, down and sideways I would never say these things to my own child(ren) because they bothered me so much when she said them. And maybe it's silly. Maybe I shouldn't feel so guilty now. But I do.

Because I say them to KBug.

All. The. Time.

 

 1. "Look with your eyes, not with your hands."

My mother said this to me and my siblings all the time. We wouldn't have even walked through the doors to the store and she'd be saying the words. Seriously, Mom? We know already! But, of course, at some point during our shopping excursion she would have to say it again because one of us, usually my brother, couldn't keep his hands to himself and just look with his eyes. Come on, mom, give the kid a break! He was like 5! Ok, maybe he was actually 10...

And now, here I am, such a hypocrite because I say it to KBug.

And I sometimes say it before we've entered the store.

Oops.

 

2. "Get back in bed."

I don't really remember my mom saying this one to me much because I was really little when she would have to say it to me. But I do remember hearing her repeat the story of her having to sit outside my bedroom door, with her feet propped up on the baby gate and say "Get back in bed... Get back in bed... Get back in bed..." for thirty minutes before I would finally fall asleep each night. And just hearing the story on what seemed like a continuous loop is enough to drive anyone up the flipping wall, I swear.

But I often find myself saying the same words, using the same tone, when KBug tries to be sneaky at night.

Yeah, kid, the "I just want a snack" trick doesn't work on me.

 

3. "I'm gonna count to 3!"

The dreaded number 3. My mom was a huge fan of the number 3, and the numbers 1 and 2 which just so happen to get caught in the cross fire between a mother and her child. Who decided 3 was some sort of magic number? What lunatic person decided that counting to 3 was a good way to get children to listen and do as they were told? It certainly wasn't my mother because Lord knows it never worked for her! Well, at least not with me. I really didn't care about the number 3 or what was supposed to happen when she reached it. I was that kid.

And it seems KBug is "that kid", too, because she doesn't give a darn when I count to 3.

I guess she's of the same mind and simply wonders why 3 is so special?

 

4. "Did you do all of your homework?"

Yes, mom, I did all of my homework. She got the same response. Every. Single. Day. So why is it she felt the need to ask me? Every. Single. Day. I guess she didn't believe me or something because my grades weren't all that great. I was the child who came home and did all of their homework, knowing that my mother would ask me and I'm a terrible liar. But I hardly ever turned a single homework assignment in. It was my own personal rebellion against my mother, the tyrant. In retrospect, she really wasn't a tyrant. But the teenager Christine thought she was, especially when it came to homework.

Yet I find myself asking KBug the exact same question, every Monday through Thursday, starting in August and ending in May or June.

 

5. "Because I'm your mother and I said so!"

I never understood the logic in those words when I was younger. Really? What kind of reason is that? My best friend had a mother, too, but I didn't have to do things because she told me to. And you have a mother, and I'm sure you don't do everything she tells you to do. There's some flawed reasoning in that statement, I was sure of it. Because what makes a mother so special that things are the way she says just because she said so? I just didn't understand.

I'm pretty sure I still don't understand. I guess it's just a trick we use to get our own way.

Unfortunately, though, it doesn't work very well with KBug.

She always wants a better reason.

Come on, kid, mom just wants you to put the dishes in the sink.

 

So, there you have it. The top 5 things I hate admitting I say just because it makes me sound like my mom. I love her dearly, but that doesn't mean I want to be her! Oh well, I guess there are worse things in the world to be. I could be homeless, with no education or money, dating a guy who likes to do drugs.

 

Thank God my mother would never let me turn out like that...

If I did, though, I can guarantee I know what her new favorite line would be...

"I raised you better than that!"