A "New Kind of Teen Mom"?

First off, does anyone remember when music videos actually played on this channel? It's been forever. And now MTV has branched off into some truly ridiculous shows. And, let's be honest, we've all watched them at one time or another. (Can we say The Hills? The City? Cribs? Pimp My Ride? Jersey Shore?)

Well, a few years ago I watched "MTV's 16 and Pregnant".

If you look at various posts and pages on this blog, it's pretty easy to do some simple subtraction and realize that 23-6=16 (and, in just a month, 23-7=15, yikes). I have never tried to hide the fact that I was a teenage mom. Not in a million years. Because that would mean I was ashamed of KBug, and I am anything but ashamed of her. She is my life, my world, my everything. I love her to the moon and back.

So, Single Mama was, at one point, 16 and Pregnant. It happens. And it isn't all that uncommon in today's society. Is that a scary thought? Absolutely. Because there are so many young women who are not ready to be a mom in their teenage years. There are so many young women who are not willing to give up the carefree teenage life. There are so many young women who are not ready to grow up and take responsibility for their actions.

Unfortunately that unwillingness ends in a lot of terminated pregnancies. Fortunately, some of these girls opt for adoption.

I was a teen mom. I chose to grow up and be the best person I could be for my daughter. I chose to love KBug and be there for her and give her everything I possibly could. Because that's what a mother is supposed to do.

Was I terrified when I found out I was pregnant? Yes. Did I think I was ready to be a mother? No. Did I immediately know that I would spend the next 9 months thinking about what was best for my unborn child? Yes.

My mom was young when she got pregnant with me. She was 18 when she found out she was going to be a mother. And there were a number of people who tried to convince her that she should terminate the pregnancy, that she shouldn't have a baby.

Having a baby at such a young age could have ruined her life. It could have made her resent me instead of love me. It could have been the worst possible thing for her.

But my mother loved me. And she chose to respect my right to life. She chose to do what she felt was best for me and to give me a chance to experience this world instead of taking me out of it before I knew what was happening.

My mother gave me life when it would have been just as easy (possibly easier) to abort me.

So when I found out that I was pregnant at 16, I decided that if my mom could be strong enough to give up her youth and her life and her body to have a baby, so could I. My mom believed that I was worth it, and I believed that my child would be worth it.

That decision was made. It was the easiest decision I have ever made in my life. It required no thought, no effort, no discussion with others. I just knew. I followed my faith and I followed my heart and I just knew.

But I was immediately faced with another decision. Do I keep my baby or do I put my baby up for adoption? This decision was much harder for me to make.

There were so many days I sat down and debated this in my head. Was I ready for a baby? Would I be a good mother? Could someone be better for my baby than I would be? Did I really think I was ready to grow up? Was I willing to give up my dreams and aspirations to be a mother? Would my baby really benefit from having a teen mom?

My Ex Husband and I got married because we were pregnant. And even after we were married, I thought about putting my baby up for adoption. I didn't know if I was ready. I didn't know if we were ready. I didn't know if we could be grown up enough and accept that responsibility.

But I thought again about how strong my mother was, and I thought about how strong I had been through my pregnancy and realized I could do it. I could be a good mom. I could raise a baby. I could find a way to give her everything. I could do this and give my baby a happy life.

Just after I began watching 16 and Pregnant, I also started watching Teen Mom. And that show actually bothers me, to be honest.

I was a teen mom. And I never would have wanted a TV crew to follow me around and document my life and make little things seem like the end of the world. I couldn't even imagine. And I am appalled that there are girls out there who are willing to be on either show. I only watched a few episodes of each show before I had to stop watching. It made me so angry.

I feel like these shows aren't fair to the rest of the teen moms in the world. There is nothing superior about being a teen mom. There is nothing TV worthy about being a teen mom. And I'm amazed at how many people watch these shows over and over again. I don't understand it.

In my opinion, these TV shows are just exploiting young women and their children. They are making money off of the struggles and disappointments and dramas of other peoples lives. And our society is just letting them do it. Our society tunes into these shows and watches them and laughs at, cries with, makes fun of, gets angry at these young women. How is that fair?

And then it spills over into the tabloids and the magazines. Teen moms aren't "breaking news" in my opinion. Yes, teen pregnancy happens. Yes, we have tough decisions to make. Yes, it can cause a lot of drama. But does it really need to be shown on television? I don't think so.

I think that the young women who are part of these shows should have more respect for themselves. Why do you need to be on TV? Doesn't that just add to the complexity of your life? Why would you want to schedule meetings with people based on a camera crew or a director? Shouldn't you be able to take your child to the park whenever you want?

I really don't get it.

I just think teen moms should be left alone. They don't need the bad publicity and the terrible stereotypes and the scrutiny of the public eye. We are just young women, who have babies, and do everything we can to ensure they have a great life. Whether we keep them or give them up for adoption, we make choices to better their lives.

Isn't that what any other loving mother would do?

 

Why can't we just stop subjecting teen moms to the constant examination of society?

Instead of engaging in this obsession with the fame-seeking "new kind of teen mom"?