And I'm happy to say that I only sent home one failing grade. I'm not happy about the failing grade, but I'm happy that there was only one of them.
Crazy, right!?
I did everything I could for this student to help them bring up their grade. I gave them extra time to turn in assignments (for full credit). I reminded them repeatedly to get their flash drive and just submit their assignments. I called their parents and told them that their child had a failing grade in my class.
And did I get any of their work?
One assignment.
I felt like it was important for this student to know that I was on their side and that I thought they could do it. I went beyond what most teachers these days would do for their students. And I still didn't get hardly anything in return.
When is it going to be enough for these students? When is it going to hit them that they really should do their work? When are they going to realize that their success today determines their success tomorrow? When will it matter to them that the little successes every day will improve their chances of big success later in life?
I know that middle school is not easy. Trust me, I know. It wasn't long ago that I was in middle school and going through the same difficulties and struggles that they are.
And I definitely struggled through middle school. I was just beginning to understand that my biological father had made the choice to walk away from me as an infant. I was just beginning to experience the changing hormones that all adolescents have to deal with. I was awkward, I wore glasses all the time, I wanted to be anyone but me. I wasn't popular, I wasn't part of the "in crowd", I felt like I wasn't good enough.
I know exactly where some of these children are, and it's kind of scary.
It's scary to see them and think back to my own middle school days.
It's not fun to, in a way, relive those days. I was a mess back then. I was depressed, I was lonely, I was hiding from everyone. I was cutting, I was hurting, I was thinking my life wasn't worth living. I was overwhelmed, I was angry, I was on edge all the time.
I was not a happy person. But I made it through.
I want to make a difference. I want to be the teacher who is there for her students, who takes the time to get to know them, who looks carefully at them instead of just glancing. I want my students to know that I care about them and I love them and that someone wants to see them succeed in life. I want them to know that I am here to help them, no matter what they are struggling with.
Middle school is a challenge. Middle school is not easy. Middle school is where children get lost.
Some of them lose their confidence, their faith, their self-worth, their desire to be happy.
And some children lose their desire to keep moving forward.
Bullying is an issue everywhere. It's even an issue in a small Catholic school like ours. And I honestly feel that a lot of these issues in middle school could be solved if bullying didn't exist. But bullying is always present. There is nothing more heart-breaking than a child tearing down another child to feel better about themselves.
**this applies to boys, too!**
Shouldn't we be teaching our children that they are good enough, no matter what? And that all other children are enough?
I'm a parent myself. And I do my best to make sure that KBug knows she is good enough. In everything she does. So what if her math skills aren't as strong as her reading skills? So what if she has a tendency to forget how much a nickel is worth? So what if she doesn't always remember to use the right punctuation mark in her writing?
Who cares!?
What matters is that she is doing her best. What matters is that she is trying.
Do I want to see good grades from her? Of course. But do I understand that she has troubles in some areas of her studies? Yes. And every parent should be able to understand that.
Some children are great at reading and writing and not so great at science. Should we, as parents, harp on them continuously for their poor science grade? Or should we tell them it's ok and that we know they tried their best in science and praise them for the success in reading and writing?
Praising the successes of our children and students is so important. They will remember the time their parent was proud of them and it will help them to be proud of themselves. They will remember the "Fantastic!" their teacher wrote on their paper and want to share it with their family.
They will also remember the negative comments of their parents and teachers. And those will affect them so much. Because they have a tendency to take the negativity and twist it around and find more ways that they feel they are not good enough.
We need to build our children up. We need to boost their confidence at every turn. We need to constantly remind them that they are good enough and they are worthy of this life.
We, as teachers and parents, need to focus more on raising a healthy, self-sufficient, confident adult than on raising a "perfect child". So pay attention, praise the small successes and help them move past their failures. Find the balance that works. Let's make sure that today's children know how to succeed and be proud, without being egotistical. Let's make sure that today's children know that they will sometimes fail, but that they need to pick themselves up and keep moving forward because they will have fewer failures as they grow and learn.
And, because I'm a proud Mama, I have to brag on my KBug's report card. They are graded on a 1-4 scale and KBug had two 4s (above grade level) in writing, two 2s (on progress toward grade level) in math, and the rest were 3s (which is on grade level) spread out across various writing, grammar and math concepts. They also did another Developmental Reading Assessment (DRA). Her DRA at the end of last quarter had her reading at a level 28. The end of the year level expectation for a 1st grader is a 20. Now, at the end of the 3rd quarter, she is reading at a level 34! I'm so proud of my KBug for her achievements!
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