An Unexpected Impact

If you've read my previous post, you know that I have recently spent a couple of hours catching up on one of my favorite television shows, "Army Wives".

Now, I'll be completely honest here, this is not a show I have followed since it originally aired with "A Tribe is Born" in 2007. I didn't begin watching "Army Wives" until early 2011. But as soon as I watched the first episode, I was hooked. It really didn't take long.

I'm not even entirely sure why I enjoy this show so much- I just know that I do. It reaches out and touches my heart in a way that very few television series ever have. It makes me think and it makes me feel and it has made me reach down inside and deal with some of the emotions I have buried so deep.

This television series has caused me to feel overwhelming joy (Denise and Frank don't get divorced, Pamela and Chase get back together, Joan and Roland adopt, Claudia Joy and Michael rejoice in his amazing career, Roxy and Trevor have twins, just to name a few moments). But this series has also caused me to feel some huge heartache and pain and brought tears to my eyes on several occasions.

Unfortunately, these tears always seem to come when one of the characters I have grown to love passes away. Amanda was killed by a suicide bomber. Jeremy was killed in action while one deployment. And, most recently, Claudia Joy died of heart failure after her kidney transplant. I have cried for each of these deaths. I have watched the first two numerous times and I still cry.

How is it that a television show can have such an impact on my life? How is it that I have grown to love these characters so deeply that I am in tears just watching a single episode? These people don't even really exist. Sure, the actors do. But the situations they portray aren't real for them. These people didn't actually die.

But it feels like they did.

I have had friends and loved ones in Iraq and Afghanistan over the years. I cried when they left, I cried while they were gone, I cried upon their return. I felt every second of their absence.

Maybe I am taking the portrayed situations of "Army Wives" and applying it to my own experiences? I honestly have no idea. Maybe I'm gaining a small piece of understanding of what many wives have had to endure being wives of military men and women? I couldn't tell you.

But it does impact my life and make me think about life differently.

What if these people were real? And what if these people were my friends? How would I have made it through that?

Food for thought.

Another television show that has had a major impact on me is "One Tree Hill". Again, I didn't follow this show from the very beginning, but I wish I had. This particular series was introduced to me in 2008. A friend let me borrow the first season and it went from there. I watched every episode of that first season in a matter of days. I was completely sucked in and loving it!

As time went by, I watched the rest of the seasons, thank you Netflix. And I just fell more and more in love with the characters. Well, most of them. Of course there are always a few that you don't like, but sometimes they grow on you. Or, at least, they do for me.

This was another series that caused me to feel some incredibly powerful happiness (Nathan and Haley's wedding, Peyton and Luke finally getting together, Brooke finding love after all those years, Karen and Keith's engagement...). But there were tears with this one as well.

The portrayal of a school shooting really got to me. It made me think about the high school I went to and how lucky we were that something like that never happened to us. It made me think about the type of world we live in and added another thing to the long list of things to try and protect my daughter from. It made me realize how awful life can seem to other people, even though they keep it all together on the outside.

You never really know what's going on inside a person. You can't read their mind and there is no way to fully understand their thoughts, words or actions. People can truly take you by surprise. It's a scary thought, but it's the truth.

I also struggled with the deaths in this series. Keith's was the first and I fell apart watching that episode, which happened to be the same one as the school shooting. I fell apart again when Quentin died a few seasons later, and then again when Haley's mom passed away.

It amazes me that these fictional characters can mean so much to me, that their deaths can make me feel like a part of my heart has gone with them. Fictional characters shouldn't be able to do that, should they?

I don't know if they should or not but, for whatever reason, they do.

And I am thankful for that. Because it means I am human and that I have the ability to identify with others on different levels and to experience their struggles and heartaches with them. Sometimes it can be overwhelming, but we all pull through in the end, right? It all works out for everyone.

I'm just glad to be able to feel something. Even if it's for a character in a move, television show or book. And, let me tell you, if I were to write about the characters in books that have tugged at my heart, we would be here for at least a year and a half. The list goes on and on.

On a side note, how is it that Nanny Carrie (One Tree Hill) is now playing a happy army wife? Seriously, guys. The woman's psycho!

???

Yeah, I'm not sure I'm entirely sold on that one....