ADHD. It's Real, People.

When I was 16 years old, I got married.

 

When I was 16 years old, I had a baby.

 

When I was 19 years old, I got divorced.

 

When I was 21 years old, I became the single mother of a diagnosed special needs child.

 

There are many people in the world who could walk into my daughters classroom in the middle of the day on a Wednesday and say she is a typical child.

 

There are many people in the world who could walk into my home in the middle of the day on a Saturday and say my daughter is a typical child.

 

There are many people in the world who do not know my daughter, though. And those many people do not know that she is a typical child at those times because she is on medication for ADHD.

 

There are many people in the world who could walk into my home any morning or evening and understand exactly why my daughter is medicated for ADHD.

 

I am the parent of a special needs child. I am fully aware of the fact that a number of people do not believe that children with ADHD are children with special needs. I am also entirely aware that there is a large population of people who do not believe ADHD exists at all.

 

But it does.

And being an ADHD child changes everything.

 

I am here to say that ADHD is a real condition. It exists. And it is everywhere.

 

KBug was diagnosed with ADHD in February 2012, just a short while before her fifth birthday. She had been in school for a year and a half at that point.

 

In her three-year-old program, KBug couldn't sit still, couldn't follow directions, couldn't hardly write her own name. She also stole small toys from the classroom on impulse and didn't communicate well with her classmates. Her behavior was often times irrational. KBug couldn't have a conversation lasting more than thirty seconds before she would change to topic.

 

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I know, I know.

She was only three years old.

 

KBug went to a four-year-old preschool program at the same school. She couldn't sit still, couldn't follow simple directions, couldn't hardly tell you the letters of the alphabet though we all knew that she knew them. She couldn't focus on one single topic without thinking about every aspect of that topic. KBug didn't have good friendships and cut her clothes simply because another child told her to. She had no understanding of when she should or should not do something.

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That is basically what her thought processes looked like.

 

Halfway through the year, after a conference with her teachers and the principal, I decided to have her tested for ADHD.

 

My brother had ADHD. My ex-husband had ADHD. It wasn't like it didn't run in the family. And ADHD has been linked to genetics.

 

It took me a while, but I gathered up the courage to have KBug tested for something I already knew in my heart was there. I knew going in to the appointment that we would come out with a diagnosis. I knew going into the appointment that we would come out with a reason for her behavior, her impulsivity, her inability to focus. Sometimes a mother just knows.

 

Maybe it helped that I had seen it before in my brother? Maybe it helped that my mother and grandmother had been asking me for years what I would do if KBug did end up having ADHD? Maybe it helped that I knew the obstacles and struggles we would face if I went forward with the testing?

 

I honestly don't know...

But something gave me the courage to walk into that appointment.

 

GMa and I had completed all of the paperwork we were asked to complete. KBug's teachers had completed all of the paperwork they were asked to complete. The doctor had everything right in front of her. The doctor knew going in to the appointment that she was going to be diagnosing a child with ADHD.

 

It's not an uncommon diagnosis. There are a great many children whose parents have been told that they have ADHD. Unfortuantely, though, the number of children being diagnosed have led members of society to doubt it's existence. The high volume of ADHD children has led people to believe that it is a lack of good parenting skills rather than something physically wrong with the child.

 

But there have been studies done that show that there are visible, physical differences between the brain of an ADHD child and that of a child who shows no symptoms of ADHD. How can we possibly ignore a consistent physical difference? I don't think we can.

 

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After reviewing the options with her doctor, I decided to start KBug on a medication called Metadate CD. This is a medication commonly used for children with ADHD to address their impulsivity, inattention and hyperactivity.

 

I know that there are people who will read this and think that I gave up on my daughter. There are people who will say that I put her on medication because I couldn't handle her or because I didn't want to deal with her or because I didn't love her the way she was.

 

Those people have no idea what they are talking about.

 

I chose to medicate KBug to give her the life that she deserves, the life that she should have. I loved her so much that I went against everything I wanted to do to give her everything I knew she had earned simply by being alive. She had a right to live a normal life and enjoy her childhood.

 

Who am I to take that away from her?

 

There is no child in the world who deserves to be in continuous trouble. There is no child who deserves to constantly be at odds with their family members. There is no child that I would ever wish this upon because it is awful to endure. Especially with parents who aren't understanding and don't take ADHD seriously.

 

I chose to medicate KBug because I wanted her to have a happy childhood. I wanted her to be able to play with her friends, read a book. draw a picture. I wanted her to be able to get through a school day on "green" instead of on "red". I wanted KBug to succeed academically and to understand how amazingly intelligent she is.

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{pin links to this fabulous article}

 

That's why I chose to medicate my little girl.

To give her joy and peace and love and success.

Not a life filled with yelling, arguing, ridicule and discontent.

 

ADHD is a real condition. It is all around us, whether people like to admit it or not. It exists. And it isn't going anywhere.

 

And ADHD isn't a result of bad parenting. It just happens sometimes. There are genetic and environmental factors that play into it, but it can't always be pinpointed to one specific thing.

 

So think about it next time you're in the grocery store and the woman at the other end of the aisle has a child who is grabbing for everything on the shelves. Think about it the next time you walk into a classroom and witness a child who can't stay in their seat for more than three seconds. Think about it the next time you see a parent at the park with their child who isn't listening to a word their saying.

 

Maybe there's a reason for those behaviors.

Maybe those children are special in their own way.

Maybe those children can't help what they are doing.

Maybe those children have ADHD.

 

 

Further ADHD reading:

-- ADHD Special Education Laws

-- Is ADHD a Genetic Disorder?

-- Time to Focus Correctly on ADHD

 

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