My Test Anxiety and KBug Do Not Mix

So it's been a very stressful few days. I have spent the majority of my time studying for my Marketing exam. Which is tomorrow.

I've written before about my test anxiety. But it's ten times worse for this particular exam. I think part of it is that it's worth 6 credits instead of the typical 3 credits. And I think another part is that I have to pass this test by May 31st. And another part is that I really want to pass because I want to have time to finish another course before the end of my term.

But it's mostly because my mentor has been freaking me out about it.

 

Apparently it is very rare for students to pass this test on their first attempt. It is rare for students to be able to apply the concepts to situations like the exam calls for. Even students who pass the pre-assessment have a difficult time passing the exam.

 

Now, don't get me wrong. I love my mentor. She's been a wonderful resource for me! But for a person with massive test anxiety, this was not the right approach to this course at all. It was not what I needed. No sir, no ma'am.

 

So here I sit, ridiculously nervous for this exam, doing everything I can to remain positive and calm.

 

Anyways.

 

My stress over this test has been spilling over into KBug, though. I knew I was stressed, but I didn't realize it was so obvious. So it didn't occur to me that maybe she has been acting out the past couple of days because I've been stressed.

 

Total mom fail.

 

We have had two hellish mornings this week before school. She was entirely out of sorts on both Tuesday and Wednesday morning. And it was just silly little things. She didn't like the socks I had grabbed out of the drawer. She didn't want to wear the silver sneakers, she wanted to black ones. She didn't like the yogurt she's eaten seventy times before. She didn't want her hair in a ponytail, she wanted braids. She didn't want to go to school.

 

Basically, anything I wanted her to do, she wasn't having it. So Tuesday morning I packed her uniform into her backpack and stuck her in the car wearing nothing but her socks and underwear.

 

And she almost ended up that way again today because she didn't like the socks I had grabbed out for her. But I reminded her that today was Spring picture day and she got to dress up pretty and told her I would curl her hair and she pulled it together. And she looked gorgeous!

 

If I had been smart, I would have snapped a picture.

But again, total mom fail.

Oh, and she had reason for not wanting to wear the socks because she had a rash around her ankles by the time she got to school. She just didn't think to tell me why she didn't want to wear them aside from "I don't want to."

 

Yesterday afternoon was craziness. I was supposed to go to staff meeting after school, but KBug wouldn't behave for PJP. She wouldn't sit down. She wouldn't do her homework. She wouldn't play Reflex Math. She wouldn't do anything. I managed to get a hold of her for a minute and she felt like she might have been running a fever. End result? I missed staff meeting to take her home and determine if illness was the cause of the crazies.

 

By the time we got home and she had calmed down, her temperature was normal. Awesome.

 

So then I'm trying to get her to do her homework. And PJP is sitting at the table next to her. She throws a fit over him sitting next to her, like he's the meanest person in the world or she'd never met him before in her life.

 

PJP has lived with us for 8 months now. And never laid a hand on her for anything.

Weird. And still not sure what her deal was.

 

Eventually PJP goes upstairs, she calms down, eats something and does her homework. It didn't take her fifteen minutes to get it done. But it took me an hour and a half to get her to do it. Ah, the joys of being the mother of a strong-willed, school-aged child.

 

In the end, it all worked out. She did her homework, I went to choir, she listened to Gramma, ate half of a small pizza from Dominos, took a shower and went to bed. She was passed out cold when I got home at 9. And I think it was the best thing for her.

 

KBug has been telling me an awful lot lately that she is tired. I'm starting to wonder if she's growing? That would be fantastic! I would love for her to grow a little taller or gain a little weight. We're sitting at 36.8lbs with a goal of reaching 40lbs by the first day of Second Grade.

 

Oh my wow.

I'm going to be the mother of a Second Grader soon.

That's something I really don't want to think about right now.

 

This afternoon went much better. She did her Wednesday Write Night homework pretty quickly and easily, though distracted by the puppy dogs every thirty seconds. She did a wonderful job with her illustration, too! They had to write a sentence about something they have learned about the Wright brothers, and then about something they may want to invent someday.

 

KBug decided she wanted to invent a robot cat, a robot dog and a robot mouse. And that was what she chose to draw a picture of. She had no troubles drawing the dog and cat, but when it came to the mouse.... She wanted a step-by-step visual. And she turned to me, her very much not an artist mother, to get the step-by-step. So, being the good mommy that I am, I drew her step-by-step instructions for drawing a mouse. And she followed my step-by-step instructions very well, I think!

 

After dinner, she went out in the backyard and played with the Izzy dog for an hour before she came inside, washed up and got ready for bed. KBug put her pajamas on, brushed her teeth, took her vitamins and we read a little bit of The Magician's Nephew. I'm really happy that she's enjoying reading the book with me. It may just be the dedicated Mommy time she loves, but even so, she's listening to the story and able to recall what happened the last time we read. It's been a long time since I've read this book, so it's been really nice to be able to read it again with her and refresh my memory.

 

 

Other than that, there's not much going on. If you read So What Wednesday! this morning, you would have read all about the things I needed to do but hadn't done yet. Today, though, I managed to remember to pick up PJP's comforter, fold my laundry and take a short nap. KBug also got her laundry out of the middle of the living room and we agreed that she would be putting the folded laundry away tomorrow afternoon. Oh, and I discovered that the Izzy dog hadn't torn a hole in my couch cushion like I thought she had! It was exciting! And, even though I was ridiculously sore, I still completed my Insanity workout for the day. I think I'm going to have a love/hate relationship with the Cardio Recovery routine. I was kind of wary of it before I started because it isn't very encouraging to have a dude bent over and looking out of breath on the main title page, but it was really relaxing. At the same time, though, I could still tell I was getting a good workout. I think the lunge hold and pulses were the worst part, to be honest. I can do them, but they're slowed down a lot in this video to really work the muscles and it kills your legs after just a little bit. But I made it through!

 

And now it's just before 10pm and I'm going to go read up on a few of the antitrust laws I'm worried I don't know well enough. Then I'm headed to bed so that I have a good nights sleep before I send KBug to school, take the Trixie pup to the vet to be spayed, run my two miles and take my exam.

 

One thing I love about Western Governors University? Your test results are available within a couple of minutes of completing an exam. So I'll know quickly if I have to keep studying or if I can stop stressing over MKC1: Fundamentals of Marketing and Business Communication. I want to pass so badly so I'm not so stressed anymore.

 

I need to pass this exam...

If not for me, then for KBug.